Oh, HONEY! 💅Another Frankenstein? Seriously? 🙄 Like we haven’t seen this story retold more times than there are filters on Instagram. But HOLD UP! It’s Guillermo del Toro, so I guess we have to pretend we’re excited. 🙄 Starring the ever-so-dramatic Oscar Isaac, the perpetually brooding Jacob Elordi, and the queen of spooky faces, Mia Goth. Get ready for some “artistic” shots of misery and existential angst, darling. 🎭
So, apparently, this “Oscar-winning director” (yeah, we get it, you won an Oscar 🙄) is giving us his take on Mary Shelley’s “classic” tale. Because the original wasn’t depressing enough, right? We need del Toro’s signature blend of monsters and melodrama. 🎉 Victor Frankenstein, that brilliant yet “egotistical” scientist (because all scientists in movies are either crazy or have a god complex, duh 🙄), decides to play God and creates a “creature.” And surprise, surprise, it all goes wrong! 😱 Who could have possibly seen that coming? 🙄 This leads to the “undoing” of both the creator and his “tragic” creation. Cue the violins and dramatic slow-motion shots of rain. ☔️
And let’s not forget the stellar cast! We’ve got Oscar Isaac, who’s probably going to brood his way through the entire movie while looking like he’s perpetually constipated. 😖 Then there’s Jacob Elordi, who will undoubtedly stare intensely into the camera while delivering lines with the emotional range of a wet sock. 🧦 Mia Goth will probably just stare creepily into the camera. Felix Kammerer is also there because…reasons? And of course, we need some old-school gravitas with Charles Dance and Christoph Waltz, who will probably be the only ones bringing any actual acting skills to the table. 👴🏻👵🏻
Oh, look, a trailer! 🙄 Let’s see what kind of visual feast del Toro has cooked up for us this time. Expect lots of dark lighting, gothic architecture, and maybe a gratuitous shot of a beating heart. ❤️ And of course, the creature will look suitably grotesque, because that’s what del Toro does best: makes monsters that are both scary and strangely beautiful. 🤡
This cinematic masterpiece (or potential train wreck, let’s be real 🚂💥) is going to be a whopping 2 hours and 29 minutes long. Get ready to clear your schedule and stock up on snacks because you’re going to need them to stay awake through all the pretentious monologues and agonizing stares. 🍿😴
And the best part? It’s launching on Netflix in November 2025! 🗓️ Because who needs to go to a movie theater when you can experience cinematic genius from the comfort of your own couch? 🛋️ Just make sure you have a good Wi-Fi connection, or you might miss that crucial moment when Frankenstein’s monster cries a single, perfectly-lit tear. 😢
More pictures! We get a glimpse of Mia Goth looking vaguely unsettling. Because that’s her entire job description, right? 😜 We also see some other people looking serious and intense. Is this supposed to be a period piece? Who cares! It’s Frankenstein! Expect dramatic costumes, moody lighting, and lots of close-ups of people looking tormented. 😈
Christoph Waltz is there too, probably being all suave and menacing as usual. Because if you’re going to have a villain, you might as well cast Christoph Waltz, am I right? 🦹🏻♂️ And is that David Bradley? 🧙🏻♂️ Oh, this movie is just a mix of actors!
So, mark your calendars, set your reminders, and prepare yourselves for another retelling of Frankenstein that will probably be either amazing or a complete disaster. Either way, it’s going to be a wild ride. 🎢 And remember, kids, don’t play God unless you have a really good therapist on speed dial. 📞
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
