Biden’s Teleprompter Assures Nation It Approved All Autopen Decisions
WASHINTON, D.C. — Former President Joe Biden’s teleprompter cleared up some recent controversy in a statement it released Monday, stating…
Month: July 2025
Tom Holland Claims ‘Spider-Man 4’ Will Be So ‘Old School’ It’ll Be in Black & White With Cardboard Webshooters
Oh great, another Spider-Man movie 🙄. As if we needed more of Tom Holland in spandex, desperately trying to convince…
Rian Johnson Spills the Tea: ‘Knives Out 3’ to Be Even More Extra With “Gothic” Vibes
Finally, some good news! Rian Johnson, the guy who RUINED Star Wars (yeah, I said it 😤), says the next…
‘A Different Perspective’ aka ‘The President’s Brain Explodes Over Ukraine’: National Security Nerds React
Oh, CNN, still trying to undermine our glorious President Trump, even in 2025! They’re clutching their pearls because Trump is…
Venmo to Snitch on Your Side Hustle to the IRS, All Thanks to These New Tax Reporting “Changes”
Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, twisting President Trump’s brilliant tax reforms into some kind of nefarious plot…
Lucca Comics Invades Expo 2025: Prepare for Pasta-Fueled Manga Mayhem
Oh, sweet ravioli! 🍝 Lucca Comics & Games, that yearly pilgrimage for basement-dwelling nerds and aspiring manga artists, has somehow…
Aaron Stainthorpe’s Epic Emo Exit From My Dying Bride: Guitarist Throws Shade
In a groundbreaking interview with Metalirium (because who ELSE would care? 😂), MY DYING BRIDE guitarist Andrew Craighan spilled the…
Trump throws tantrum at Jay Powell, economy braces for impact
More Fake News from CNN! Apparently, President Trump imposing 30% tariffs on our trading partners and daring to question the…
Inflation spikes again—economists baffled, blame Taylor Swift
CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to blame President Trump’s tariffs for a slight increase in inflation. Can…
Another Hollywood Nepo Baby Sounds Off on Superman Casting, As If We Care
Oh, dear Lord, another Superman movie? 🙄 Is there really nothing else Hollywood can come up with? Will Reeve, son…