OMG, like, who even remembers those totally obscure Disney live-action movies? 🙄 We’re talking about cinematic masterpieces so epic, so groundbreaking, that they’ve been collectively erased from the public consciousness. Poof! Gone! Vanished into the abyss of forgotten entertainment. And honestly, maybe that’s for the best. 🤷♀️
Back in the ’90s, when Disney was busy raking in the dough with animated classics, they also churned out some live-action flicks that were, shall we say, less than iconic. A Far Off Place with Reese Witherspoon? Yeah, I’m sure your grandma remembers it fondly while knitting cat sweaters. 🧶 And Meet the Deedles? Oh honey, that movie was so forgettable, it makes Milli Vanilli look like a timeless act. Seriously, who thought those two airheads were funny? 😂
Then came the 2000s, a glorious era of Disney trying to be “edgy” and “experimental.” The result? A bunch of movies that make you question the very fabric of reality. Max Keeble’s Big Move? More like Max Keeble’s Big Mistake! 🤣 And let’s not forget Old Dogs, a cinematic train wreck starring the late, great Robin Williams, may he rest in peace 🙏, who probably regretted signing that contract every single day of his life. I mean, Danny DeVito and John Travolta? Really? 🤡
By the 2010s, Disney had finally realized that originality was overrated and decided to focus on remakes and franchises. Because why bother creating something new when you can just regurgitate the same old stuff and make a billion dollars? 🤑 But even then, they still managed to screw up a few times. Tomorrowland, with George Clooney? More like “Tomorrow-never-land-because-nobody-cares!” 😴 And The Sorcerer’s Apprentice with Nicolas Cage? Oh, Nicolas, what happened to you? Did you lose a bet with Mickey Mouse or something? 😵💫
Whether these movies are “unfairly ignored hidden gems” (as some delusional people might claim) or just plain garbage, the truth is they failed to leave a mark. And honestly, that’s probably a good thing. Some things are better left forgotten, like that embarrassing photo of you from middle school or that time you tried to pull off Hammer pants. 🙅♀️ So let’s raise a glass to these cinematic failures, may they rot in the depths of the Disney vault forever! 🥂
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
