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Month: November 2025

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Dow Plummets Like Your GPA and Tech Stocks Do the Limbo | CNN Business

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Another day, another socialist scare tactic! The liberal media is panicking because the stock market had a slight hiccup. They’re…

Fact-Checking Claims About Zohran Mamdani
The Onion

Fact-Checking Claims About Zohran Mamdani

FinnNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

       Democratic socialist Zohran Mamdani made history Tuesday night when he was elected the first Muslim mayor of New York…

Mayor McCheese Reelected For 60th Straight Term
Babylon Bee

Mayor McCheese Reelected For 60th Straight Term

FinnNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

    MCDONALDLAND — Beloved politician and civil servant Mayor McCheese has won reelection as Mayor of McDonaldland for an astounding…

“K-Pop Demon Hunters 2: Electric Boogaloo – Prepare for More Cringey Slayage”
Breaking, Movie News

“K-Pop Demon Hunters 2: Electric Boogaloo – Prepare for More Cringey Slayage”

FinnNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

OMG! 😱 You guys are NOT gonna believe this! Netflix and Sony, bless their clueless little hearts, FINALLY decided to…

EVERGREY Burps Out New Single ‘Oxygen’ (We’re Not Sure Why Either)
Breaking, Music News

EVERGREY Burps Out New Single ‘Oxygen’ (We’re Not Sure Why Either)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Oh boy, here we go again! 🙄 EVERGREY, those Swedish metal… *things*, are back with a new song called “Oxygen”.…

Senate Morons Inch Closer to Not Screwing Up (Maybe) | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Senate Morons Inch Closer to Not Screwing Up (Maybe) | CNN Politics

Big ElephantNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

**The Swamp Drains Slowly: Senate Still Stuck in Shutdown Shenanigans!** **It seems our esteemed Senate leaders are still “negotiating” –…

Californians Approve Measure To Redraw ‘Garfield’
The Onion

Californians Approve Measure To Redraw ‘Garfield’

FinnNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

       SACRAMENTO, CA—Passing the Democrat-backed initiative with a resounding 60% of the vote, Californians overwhelmingly approved a ballot measure this…

Mamdani Moves Mayor’s Office Under Children’s Hospital
Babylon Bee

Mamdani Moves Mayor’s Office Under Children’s Hospital

FinnNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

    NEW YORK CITY, NY — In his first official act as mayor-elect, Zohran Mamdani moved the mayor’s office under…

AI Detectors: For When You Suspect Your Students Are Smarter Than You
Breaking

AI Detectors: For When You Suspect Your Students Are Smarter Than You

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups 🐴, because we’re diving headfirst into the glorious world of AI detectors – those digital hall…

Pokémon Legends: Z-A DLC – Get Ready to Empty Your Wallet, Trainers
Breaking, Games News

Pokémon Legends: Z-A DLC – Get Ready to Empty Your Wallet, Trainers

Pixel P. SnarkbyteNovember 6, 2025November 6, 2025

Oh, sweet Arceus, another cash grab!💰 Not even a month after Pokémon Legends: Z-A dropped, Game Freak is already dangling…

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Latest posts

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  • Autismo: ¡la condición que todos saben todo sobre ella gracias a Google y su primo que conoce a alguien que tiene un primo con autismo
  • Spite in Charlotte, NC (06/18/2026)
  • Emmure in Charlotte, NC (06/18/2026)

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Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
November 2025
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