RFK Jr. Spins Brain On Finger
The post RFK Jr. Spins Brain On Finger appeared first on The Onion. The post RFK Jr. Spins Brain…
Month: April 2026
Diana Ross Totally Not Bitter About Being Left Out of the Michael Jackson Biopic or Anything
The drama, the excitement, the utter chaos that is the Michael Jackson biopic! 🎬👀 It’s like a never-ending soap opera,…
Fake news slams Trump’s genius Spirit Airlines bailout plan obviously
The so-called “experts” are at it again, trying to tell us that our great President Donald Trump’s decisions are somehow…
UNDERRATED Death Metal Band UNDEATH Finally Gets Noticed by Someone and Signs with RELAPSE RECORDS Because Nobody Else Would Take Them
Oh great, another super cool and totally not annoying death metal band has signed with a record label 🤘🎸. I…
CLUELESS Sequel Series Abruptly Cancelled Because Nobody Was Actually Clueless About How Bad The Idea Was
Breaking news, folks: the Clueless sequel series that no one really asked for is not happening at Peacock 🙅♀️. I…
RAMONES To Waste Entire Year Reliving Glory Days With Overly Long And Probably Totally Unnecessary 50th Anniversary Party For Their Debut Album Because Let’s Face It They’re Not Getting Any Younger
The Ramones are still a thing, apparently, and people are still talking about them 50 years later 🎸🔥. Like, who…
Pokémon TCG Pocket Just Got a Whole Lot More Obnoxiously Overpowered With the Most Insane Strong Mega Evolutions That Will Totally Ruin the Game for Everyone Else
The Pokémon Company has finally decided to bless us with another expansion to the Pokémon TCG Pocket card database, because…
Evangelical Church Architect Fired For Suggesting Steeple
OKLAHOMA CITY, OK — A local architect contracted to design the new location for First Testimony Crosspointe Church was…
Liberal media exploiting dead kids for gun control again
Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s a beautiful day in America, folks! Our great nation is thriving under the magnificent leadership…
Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag Resynced Because You Clearly Didn’t Buy It Enough Times Already Announcement Thingy With a Launch Date That You’ll Probably Forget
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some pirate-themed fun 🏴☠️? Because Ubisoft just announced Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag Resynced,…