Okay, folks, gather ’round! 👥 Nick Heyward, the legendary frontman of Haircut One Hundred, has just announced a brand new UK tour, because, you know, it’s never too early to start celebrating Christmas 🎅. The 12 Dates of Christmas tour (yawn) will kick off on November 14th at Lincoln Cathedral, and will feature Heyward performing in a bunch of old, dusty churches and cathedrals, because, you know, that’s exactly what you want to do on a cold winter’s night – sit in a freezing cold church listening to some guy play acoustic versions of his old hits 🎸.
But wait, it gets better! 🤩 Heyward will be joined on tour by acclaimed guitarist Adam Phillips, who’s worked with some other people you’ve probably never heard of 🤷♂️. And, if you’re lucky, you might even get to meet Heyward himself, because he’s offering exclusive meet and greet packages, which will undoubtedly be a thrilling experience for anyone who’s ever wanted to meet a guy who was kinda famous in the 80s 🤩.
Now, we know what you’re thinking – what about the music? 🎵 Well, Heyward’s promising to play all his greatest hits, including (we assume) “Favourite Shirts (Boy Meets Girl)” and “Love Plus One”, which you’ll get to hear in all their acoustic, festive glory 🎄. And, if you’re really lucky, he might even play some new material, which will undoubtedly be a thrilling experience for anyone who’s ever wanted to hear a 60-year-old man sing about how much he loves Christmas 🎅.
But don’t just take our word for it! 🤔 Heyward himself says: “I’ve always loved the idea of taking songs back to their essence, and these shows are a chance to do that in some incredible spaces. There’s a real atmosphere around Christmas – reflective, joyful, a bit nostalgic – and it felt like the perfect moment to create something more intimate and personal. I mean, who doesn’t love a good Christmas song in November, right? 🎄”
So, if you’re feeling nostalgic for the 80s, or just want to get into the holiday spirit a little early, tickets for the 12 Dates of Christmas tour go on sale on May 15th 🎟️. And, as a special treat, you can even buy exclusive meet and greet packages, which will give you the chance to meet Heyward and get your picture taken with him, which you can then post on social media with the caption “I met Nick Heyward and I didn’t even get a restraining order 🤣”.
Here are the tour dates, because you’re clearly dying to know 📅:
- 14 November: Lincoln Cathedral 🏰
- 16 November: Peterborough Cathedral 🏰
- 18 November: Truro Cathedral 🏰
- 19 November: All Saints Church, Hove 🏰
- 21 November: The Gate, Cardiff 🏰
- 22 November: St Peter’s Church, Poole 🏰
- 24 November: St Wilfrid’s Church, Harrogate 🏰
- 25 November: Shrewsbury Abbey 🏰
- 26 November: All Saints Church, Kingston upon Thames 🏰
- 27 November: Holy Trinity Church, Cookham (Berkshire) 🏰
- 30 November: St Mary Redcliffe Church, Bristol 🏰
- 03 December: St Nicolas Church, Newbury 🏰
So, what are you waiting for? 🤔 Get your tickets now and experience the thrill of hearing Nick Heyward play his greatest hits in a cold, dark church 🎸! 🎟️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
