OH BOY, IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING! 🤩 COLDRAIN IS BACK WITH A NEW ALBUM AND I’M ONLY MILDLY EXCITED 😐
I mean, it’s not like we’ve been waiting for years or anything, but Japanese alt-metal quintet COLDRAIN is finally releasing their eighth full-length album, “Optimize = Optdemise”, on September 25, 2026, via Century Media Records. And, because they love us, they’re also giving us a new single, “Ex-Humanity”, which is the sixth track unveiled from the upcoming album. Because, you know, we needed more COLDRAIN in our lives.
The album announcement comes with a lot of hype, and I’m not sure if I’m ready for it. I mean, the band’s vocalist, Masato, says that “Ex-Humanity” is a song built on contrast, with energetic and powerful music, but simple and static lyrics that are full of despair. Okay, Masato, you’re really selling me on this whole “optimism” thing 🙄. He also hopes that the song won’t be a requiem for humanity, but let’s be real, it’s probably too late for that anyway 🤷♂️.
The Album Details
So, “Optimize = Optdemise” is going to have 12 tracks, including the previously released “Optimize”, “Chasing Shadows”, “Incomplete”, and “Free Fall”. The album also features some cool guest appearances, like Bert McCracken and Kenta Koie. Because, you know, collaborations are always a great way to spice things up 🤝. The track listing looks like this:
01. Optimize
02. Chasing Shadows
03. Digitoll
04. Incomplete
05. Free Fall
06. Ex-Humanity
07. Rest Of Me
08. Poison (feat. Bert McCracken)
09. G.I.A.I.G
10. Sing
11. Picture Perfect Hell
12. Savior (feat. Kenta Koie)
The Tour and Festivals
COLDRAIN is also going on tour, because what’s a new album without a tour, right? 🤷♂️ They’re doing the “Optimize = Optdemise Japan Tour” from October to December 2026, and they’re also supporting ELECTRIC CALLBOY on their “Tanzneid World Tour” in Australia, along with ICE NINE KILLS. Because, you know, touring is the best way to spread the COLDRAIN gospel 🌟. They’ll also be playing at various festivals across Japan this summer, because why not? 🤔
The title “Optimize = Optdemise” is apparently a warning about the dangers of A.I. and how it’s making us all lose our humanity. Wow, deep 🤓. The album is supposed to be a liberation of the soul, or something like that. I mean, I’m no expert, but it sounds like they’re trying to say something profound 🤷♂️.
COLDRAIN has been around since 2007, and they’ve been making music that’s a mix of nu-metal, emo, and screamo. Because, you know, those genres aren’t dead at all 💀. They’re like a chimera, capable of crossing through every sub-genre of rock, and that’s what makes them so special 🎸. They’re a band that’s been influenced by Western music, but they’re also uniquely Japanese, and that’s what makes them stand out 🌸.
So, there you have it. COLDRAIN is back, and they’re ready to take the world by storm 🌪️. Or, at the very least, they’re ready to make some noise and hopefully not get lost in the sea of metal bands out there 🌊. I mean, I’m not exactly thrilled, but I’m willing to give them a chance 🤔. After all, it’s not every day that a band releases an album that’s supposedly going to change the world 🌎. 🎸
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
