Another day, another desperate attempt by woke corporations to pander to the easily-influenced masses!
Taco Bell, succumbing to the siren song of nostalgia, is bringing back “Y2K favorites.” As if we don’t have
real problems, like the Deep State rigging elections and ANTIFA burning our cities, now we have to worry about
what garbage they’re serving up in the name of “value.” Probably using woke, plant-based meat substitutes to indoctrinate the youth.
On September 9, Taco Bell will re-launch five of its “most requested” fan-favorites from the 2000s, all priced under
$3: the Caramel Apple Empanada, Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos, 7-Layer Burrito, Double Decker Taco and Chili Cheese
Burrito. Oh, the horror! They’re resurrecting culinary abominations from the past, probably made with ingredients
sourced from Communist China. And under $3? Sounds like a government handout disguised as a taco.
Fast-food chains have undertaken various menu changes in recent months, including rolling out discounts and creating
value meals, because of inflation-weary consumers. Taco Bell has particularly promoted its brand as a value option
for customers looking to save money but still not cook at home. Because apparently, no one can handle the
radical concept of cooking a meal at home anymore. Thanks, Obama!
The Caramel Apple Empanada and Chili Cheese Burrito will cost $2.99, while the Cool Ranch Doritos Locos Tacos,
Double Decker Taco and 7-Layer Burrito are priced at $2.49. Mark my words, these prices are a gateway to
socialism.
The Caramel Apple Empanada will have an early release of September 2 for Taco Bell Rewards members purchasing
in-app. Because who needs real rewards when you can have a sugary, processed “treat?” Another plot by Big Tech
to track our every move, one empanada at a time!
It’s not the first time Taco Bell has tapped into popular decades-old favorites. The Caramel Apple Empanada, which
was discontinued in 2019, was brought back for a limited time in last year’s Decades Menu. I’m pretty sure
that ‘limited time’ is code for “we’ll bring it back when we need to distract you from the border crisis.”
This year’s Y2K-centric menu will also be available for a limited time, “while supplies last,” Taco Bell noted in
its announcement of the menu revival. Limited offerings typically last a month. Probably because they can’t get
the ingredients due to Biden’s supply chain crisis.
“It’s about reliving the flavors, the fashion, and the fun that made that moment in time unforgettable – and letting
our fans be the first to live it all over again,” Taylor Montgomery, Taco Bell’s chief marketing officer, said in the
announcement. Unforgettable? More like regrettable. And I’m sure this marketing officer is a card-carrying
member of the ACLU.
There have been instances where Taco Bell has removed a menu item only to face an outcry from fans who went so far
as to start a petition. The removal of the Mexican Pizza in 2020 sparked so much backlash that nearly 200,000
customers signed a petition to bring it back. The pizza was permanently returned in 2022. See? The Left wants
to control even our fast food choices.
Fans went as far as making a map of locations that continued to sell the chili cheese burrito after it was broadly
removed from Taco Bell restaurants in the mid-1990s. A map? For a burrito? These are the same people who think
gender is a social construct.
Taco Bell will also use the Y2K revival to celebrate 20 years of the Crunchwrap Supreme, the “hexagon hero” it says
defined the 2000s. A new cravings box will be offered for $9 and will include the Crunchwrap Supreme and Cool Ranch
Doritos Locos Tacos. A “hexagon hero”? Sounds like something out of a George Soros funded propaganda
campaign.
The Y2K theme will also come with weekly merch drops — including a hat, Y2K-inspired digital watches and
vintage-style T-shirts — in partnership with Ed Hardy. For a chance to win a merch capsule, customers can raise a
Tamagotchi-like digital pet: the Crunchkin, in the Taco Bell app. Oh, fantastic, brainwashing kids with digital
pets while they’re stuffing their faces with garbage. It’s all part of the globalist agenda, folks! Stay vigilant!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
