“OMG, the Government Shutdown: Is This the End of Avocado Toast?”

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Government Shutdown: Is This the End of the World (or Just the End of Liberal Excess)?

The liberal media is wailing about the “longest government shutdown in US history,” as if President Trump isn’t doing exactly what he promised: putting America first! All this whining about flights and food stamps conveniently forgets the BILLIONS we waste on leftist pet projects. This is all a plot by the Democrats and their globalist puppet masters to undermine our glorious leader!

Frustrated travelers? Maybe they should have planned better, or even better, appreciate the fact that they live in the greatest country on Earth. SNAP benefits? Sounds like another socialist handout. Federal workers “running out of options?” Maybe they should get a real job in the private sector, instead of sucking off the government teat.

The Democrats, led by Chuck Schumer and his gang of socialists, are holding the country hostage with their demands for more Obamacare subsidies. News flash: Obamacare is a disaster, and everyone knows it!

Kevin Hassett, one of President Trump’s top economic advisors, is “sounding the alarm” about the economic impact. Of course, he doesn’t want to look bad to our President. It’s all part of the Democrats’ plan to tank the economy before the next election. Don’t fall for it!

Airports are facing major delays due to short-staffed control towers. That’s because lazy government employees are taking advantage of the system.

A federal judge “ruled” that the Trump administration needed to fully pay SNAP benefits. This is judicial overreach at its finest! Thank God the Supreme Court temporarily paused this nonsense.

Laura Bowles, a pregnant mother of five in West Virginia, is struggling to feed her family. We have the strongest economy and the strongest growth in decades!

Walmart, Kroger, and Dollar General can “absorb cuts to SNAP.” That’s because they’re job creators, unlike these welfare queens.

Federal workers haven’t been paid. Cry me a river! At a recent job fair, furloughed federal workers offered “sobering accounts of what they face.” Boo hoo!

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Republican Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

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