Oh, great. Another remake. Just what we needed. As if the world wasn’t already overflowing with recycled content, Netflix is giving us yet another trip down memory lane—this time with a shiny new coat of paint on 13 Going on 30. Because apparently, we haven’t suffered enough from nostalgia-driven reboots. The original came out in 2004, which means it’s been long enough for people to forget it existed, but not long enough for us to stop caring. And now, in 2026, we’re getting a remake. Why? Because someone at Netflix clearly said, “Hey, let’s take something mildly beloved and ruin it for a new generation!”
The original film starred Jennifer Garner as a 13-year-old girl who magically wakes up as her 30-year-old self, because apparently, aging naturally is too mainstream. Now, Garner is too old to play 30 (ouch), but she’s still involved as an executive producer, because nothing says “I’ve moved on” like clinging to a 20-year-old project. The new stars are Emily Bader and Logan Lerman, and Brett Haley is directing. Brett, bless his heart, seems to think this is some kind of sacred text. In his own words, via Variety: “13 Going on 30 is one of those rare, perfect films.” Sir, it’s a rom-com about a kid in a grown-up body. Let’s not get carried away.
But hey, at least we’ll get to see a new generation awkwardly recreate the iconic “Thriller” dance scene. Because nothing screams “modern storytelling” like rehashing a 40-year-old music video. Will it be as cringeworthy as the original? Probably. Will people still love it? Absolutely. Because nostalgia is a hell of a drug, and Netflix is here to keep us hooked.
So, mark your calendars, folks. In a few years, you’ll be able to stream this masterpiece on Netflix, right alongside the other 47 remakes of movies you vaguely remember from your childhood. And if you’re lucky, maybe they’ll even throw in a post-credits scene where the main character wakes up and realizes it was all just a dream. Groundbreaking. Truly. 🙄
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
