🚨 EMERGENCY! 🚨 The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, bless its cotton socks, has announced its 2025 inductees. Hold onto your dentures, folks, because this is a WILD ride. We’re talking BAD COMPANY (finally, after all these years of… obscurity?), SOUNDGARDEN (because grunge is totally still relevant, right? 👴), Chubby Checker (the Twist? Revolutionary! 🙄), Joe Cocker (gravelly voice, anyone?), Cyndi Lauper (because girls just wanna… be inducted?), OutKast (okay, fine, they’re actually good), and THE WHITE STRIPES (two people pretending to be a band). It’s like they threw darts at a board filled with dusty records and called it a day. 🎯
And the “special” awards? Oh, honey, don’t even get me STARTED. Salt-N-Pepa getting the Musical Influence Award? I mean, sure, if you’re easily influenced by… well, I can’t say, can I? Warren Zevon? Now we’re talking! Wait, I forgot. 😭 Philly soul songwriter Thom Bell, some random keyboardist Nicky Hopkins, and a Wrecking Crew bassist Carol Kaye are getting Musical Excellence Awards. Because, you know, recognizing the unsung heroes is cool, but also kinda boring. And Lenny Waronker, some suit from Warner Bros., gets the Ahmet Ertegun Award. Because what’s more rock and roll than corporate synergy? 🤝
John Sykes, the chairman of this illustrious institution, claims these inductees “created their own sound and attitude” and “changed the course of rock and roll forever.” Oh, Johnny, bless your heart. Did you even LISTEN to any of these bands? I mean, I guess “changed the course” can mean “slightly inconvenienced” in some circles. 🤷♀️
The ceremony is on November 8 at the Peacock Theater in Los Angeles. Get your tickets now… if you’re into that sort of thing. It’ll be streaming on Disney+ (because that’s where REAL rock and roll lives) and an “edited version” will air on ABC. Because who has the attention span for a whole night of washed-up rockers pretending they’re still cool? 😴
Apparently, this momentous announcement was made by Ryan Seacrest on “American Idol.” Because what better way to honor rock and roll than to shoehorn it into a singing competition for pop wannabes? 🎤 Talk about selling out!
Simon Kirke, the drummer from BAD COMPANY, had some choice words about their nomination. He said IRON MAIDEN’s management told the Hall of Fame to “Bollocks. Fuck off” after being nominated 11 times without getting in. 😂 I’m with you, Nicko! Simon also thinks they’re getting in because they’re in the top four of the fan vote, behind PHISH (who he’s “never really heard”). Classic. He’s already planning the setlist: “Can’t Get Enough.” Groundbreaking. And a shoutout to Mick, who had a stroke. Heartwarming, I guess. 💖
Paul Rodgers, the singer of BAD COMPANY, was apparently thrilled about the nomination. “About f***ing time,” he said. Profound. 🤯 Simon thinks the changing lineups diluted their “currency.” Whatever that means. He also hints at some “political thing” he can’t talk about. Ooh, mysterious! 🕵️♂️
Rodgers also said he doesn’t care about the Rock Hall because he told Ahmet Ertegun he didn’t think rock and roll belonged in a museum. Based! 🤘
Kim Thayil, the guitarist from SOUNDGARDEN, said the nomination was a “recognition of the acknowledgement.” Deep. He also credits Chris Cornell for helping the band appreciate the Rock Hall after he inducted HEART. So, basically, it took Chris Cornell inducting HEART for SOUNDGARDEN to realize the Rock Hall was a thing. 🧠
So there you have it, folks. The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame continues its valiant quest to stay relevant by inducting bands that are either past their prime, completely irrelevant, or just plain… questionable. But hey, at least it gives us something to complain about, right? 🤷♂️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
