Well, well, well, Capcom is at it again, because apparently we haven’t milked this franchise enough yet. The latest Nintendo Direct dropped a bombshell, and I’m not talking about the inevitable Nintendo Switch 2 Joy-Con drift. No, no, it’s the reveal of Dragon’s Dogma 2: Dark Arisen, an “expanded and updated” version of the 2024 RPG. I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that this update is coming out a year after the original game, and not at all a desperate attempt to squeeze more money out of the franchise. Some executive somewhere got a bonus for this, I’m sure.
More of the Same, But With a New Coat of Paint
During the Capcom Spotlight presentation, Producer Kento Kinoshita tried to convince us that this “expansion” is actually a big deal. And, I mean, it’s not like they’re just rehashing the same old content and calling it a day. Oh wait, that’s exactly what they’re doing. But hey, there’s a new story, and a whole new region to explore, called Norgan. Because who doesn’t love a good icy wasteland? It’s like the gaming equivalent of a timeshare in Antarctica. The Fallen Dragon is back, and this time it’s got a mysterious woman named Eir chasing after it. I’m sure this won’t be a rehashed plot point from the first game at all.
New Dungeon Challenges and Relics, Because We Didn’t Have Enough Already
So, in addition to the new region and story, we’re also getting 12 new dungeon challenges. Because, you know, the original game didn’t have enough grinding and repetition. And to make it all worthwhile, we’ve got the new Relics system, which allows us to find and appraise powerful equipment. Because what’s a game without a little bit of loot whoring, am I right? It’s not like we’re just going to be running the same dungeons over and over again, hoping to get that one rare item. Nature is healing, indeed.
Character Customization, Because You Clearly Didn’t Spend Enough Time Making Your Character Look Perfect Already
But wait, there’s more! The character creator is getting an overhaul, with more options for hair and tattoos. Because, let’s be real, that’s what’s been missing from this game all along. I mean, who needs better gameplay or a more engaging story when you can have more hairstyles? Kinoshita specifically mentions that these new options have been “greatly improved,” which is just a nice way of saying “we finally hired a decent character artist.”
The Never-Ending Cycle of DLC and Patches
And because Capcom loves us, they’re also throwing in another major patch in August, which will fix some of the game’s performance issues, alter the save system, and increase weapon slots from four to six. Because, you know, that’s the most pressing issue in the game right now. I’m sure this patch will be completely free and not at all a way to nickel and dime us for more money. Shareholders rejoice, indeed! Dark Arisen can be purchased as DLC for $30, or bundled with the base game for $50. Because what’s a few extra dollars when you’re already invested in the franchise? Live-service enthusiasts are preparing the candles and summoning circle, I’m sure. Another day, another roadmap, another chance for Capcom to take our money. At this point, even the loading screens have lore. Dragon’s Dogma 2: Dark Arisen launches on October 9 for all the usual platforms, because of course it does. The PS2 memory card community is devastated, no doubt.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
