I’m sipping my coffee and reading about the new Russia sanctions bill, and I have to say, it’s quite a doozy. US senators have unveiled a sweeping bipartisan bill that they’re urging Congress to quickly pass, and it’s all in honor of the late Sen. Lindsey Graham. The bill aims to pressure Moscow and deprive it of revenue for its war against Ukraine, which is certainly a noble goal. I mean, who doesn’t want to see Putin’s regime take a hit? The bill has been in the works for over a year, and it’s finally seeing the light of day, just a day after Graham’s sudden death.
The legislation is over 60 pages long, which is just perfect for a Tuesday morning read. It would impose mandatory sanctions on Russian political and military leaders, including President Vladimir Putin, as well as oligarchs, state-owned enterprises, and foreign companies that support Russia’s defense industrial base. Because, you know, we need to make sure we’re covering all our bases here. It’s not like we’re just picking on Putin or anything.
It would also impose sanctions on Russia’s shadow fleet, its energy projects, and its financial institutions. And, because we love tariffs, it would impose up to a 100% tariff on the top five countries, including China and India, that purchase Russian crude oil and natural gas. Now, I’m no economist, but that sounds like a whole lot of tariffs to me. I’m sure it’ll all work out just fine, though.
A Senate aide noted that the vast majority of Russia’s income comes from its exports of Russian oil and gas, so the legislation has been “narrowly tailored” to focus on that aspect of the Russian economy. Because, you know, we don’t want to mess with their other industries or anything. We just want to make sure they can’t sell their oil and gas, and that’ll show ’em.
It’s unclear when the bill will come to a vote, but there are already over two dozen co-sponsors, and it’s growing. Senators are expressing confidence that the legislation will move forward, including in the House of Representatives, now that it has Trump’s support. Because, you know, Trump’s support is all you need to get something done in Washington.
Democratic Sen. Richard Blumenthal, one of the bill’s key backers, said he believes it could be passed “before August.” He said Senate Majority Leader John Thune indicated that he’s “ready to go forward when he has the votes, and I think we have the votes.” I’m sure it’ll all be a breeze, then.
Blumenthal also said that the bill has been negotiated over almost two years, “painstakingly, sometimes painfully, at great length.” I can only imagine the thrill-ride that must have been. I mean, who doesn’t love a good game of bureaucratic ping-pong?
The second Senate aide said that at last week’s NATO summit, Graham and Democratic Sen. Jeanne Shaheen held a number of high-level conversations with administration officials to move the bill forward. Because, you know, that’s what happens at these summits – people actually talk to each other and get things done. It’s not all just fancy dinners and photo ops.
The negotiating points with the administration “were largely technical,” Blumenthal told reporters. He said that in the original bill, more than 60 countries could have been hit by tariffs. Now, five countries could face tariffs for oil purchases and five for natural gas purchases, with China facing tariffs for both purchases. I’m sure it’s all very complicated, but I’m sure it’ll all work out in the end.
Blumenthal said the tariff rate will be set by the US Trade Representative, and it is expected to be set “at a level appropriate to discourage from China, India, and other major purchases of Russian oil and gas.” Because, you know, we need to make sure we’re not being too harsh on these countries. We just want to give them a little nudge in the right direction.
Both Democratic and Republican senators called for passage of the legislation, calling it a “fitting tribute” to Graham. Because, you know, what better way to honor someone’s memory than with a big ol’ sanctions bill? It’s not like they’re just using his death as a way to push their own agenda or anything.
Blumenthal said he spoke to Graham “literally hours before his passing” and had “never heard him so exultant” because they received word that the White House would support their sanctions bill. I’m sure it was a real thrill-ride for Graham, knowing that his life’s work was finally coming to fruition.
Alabama Republican Sen. Katie Britt, another cosponsor, said she spoke to Graham on Saturday night and “he was so excited about getting the White House on board with the Russian sanctions bill.” I’m sure it was a real proud moment for him, knowing that he was leaving behind a legacy of sanctions and tariffs.
Florida Republican Sen. Rick Scott was clear that he will back the bill. “Whatever we can do to sanction Russia, I’m all in,” Scott said, calling Putin a “thug.” Because, you know, that’s exactly what we need – more name-calling in Washington.
President Donald Trump on Tuesday said the bill had “a good chance,” but suggested that additional measures targeting Iran and Hezbollah could be added. Because, you know, why stop at just Russia? Let’s go after everyone.
Blumenthal told reporters Tuesday that they should move forward with the bill, rather than opening it up to other potential targets. “With all due respect to the President, he has approved this bill, and we should move forward with this bill, rather than opening it to, in my view, to other potential targets,” he said. I’m sure it’ll all be a real challenge, but I’m sure they’ll figure it out.
In conclusion, the Russia sanctions bill is a big deal, and it’s finally seeing the light of day. It’s a fitting tribute to Graham, and it’s going to make a real difference in the world. Or, at the very least, it’ll make for some good reading material. So, let’s all raise a cup of coffee to the senators who are working hard to make this bill a reality. May it bring us all closer to world peace, or at the very least, may it give us something to talk about at dinner parties. And who knows, maybe Putin will even get the message and decide to behave himself. But I wouldn’t count on it, because, you know, he’s a bit of a stubborn one.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
