Fursan al-Aqsa Shoots Its Last Shot 💥 in the UK – Steam Drama Unfolds! 🇬🇧
In what can only be described as the most thrilling Counter-Terrorism operation since James Bond fought a shark in a…
Month: December 2024
Girlfriend Keeps Dropping Hints About Wanting 17-Hectare Mausoleum Complex
    Read MoreThe OnionSPARTA, OH—Noting that her desires were becoming increasingly less subtle, local man Tommy Hull confirmed Monday that his…
Trump Appoints Kash Patel To FBI Director After Being Unable To Get In Touch With His First Choice, Fox Mulder
U.S. — President-Elect Donald Trump announced his intent to appoint former federal prosecutor Kash Patel as head of the FBI…
Biden Forced To Issue Another Pardon After Hunter Commits 17 More Crimes
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Following his controversial announcement last night absolving his son of all criminal convictions and prosecution, news broke…
American Express Launches Small Sweatshop Saturday
    Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—In an effort to support factories that exploit cheap labor but employ 50 or fewer people, American…
America Starting To Think This ‘Joe Biden’ Guy Might Be A Liar
U.S. — Americans started to get the sense today that perhaps this “Joe Biden” fellow might not always tell the…
Sick New World 2025 Canceled Over Greed and Hidden Fees 🤘💸
In what can only be described as a tragicomic implosion of epic proportions, the 2025 edition of the Sick New…
FBI Warns Kash Appointment Could Jeopardize Efforts To Not Release Epstein List
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Officials within the FBI have warned that naming Kash Patel director of the Bureau could seriously undermine…
Trump Renews Relations With Castro Regime
MAR-A-LAGO, FL — In a surprise move, President-elect Donald Trump has already moved re-establish relations with the notorious Castro regime.…