World’s Oldest Known Wild Bird Lays Egg At 74
Read MoreThe OnionWisdom, a Laysan albatross and the world’s oldest known wild bird, laid an egg at the approximate age…
Month: December 2024
✨ Batman 2 Delayed AGAIN? Sydney Sweeney’s Bust Causes Chaos at DC Studios! 🙄
Hold onto your capes, folks, because Gotham is facing its most absurd crisis yet. The much-anticipated «Batman 2» directed by…
Jimmy Carter To Skip Trump Inauguration
U.S. — In yet another blow to President-elect Trump, aides have announced that former President Jimmy Carter will also be…
48-Year-Old Rabbit Finally Finishes The Job
Read MoreThe OnionThe post 48-Year-Old Rabbit Finally Finishes The Job appeared first on The Onion.
The Bee Explains: The H-1B Visa Controversy
The American conservative movement, usually known for being well-organized and having zero infighting, has somehow descended into civil war over…
Aw, Crap: DOGE Announces It’s Replacing Baseball With Cricket
U.S. — In a blow to America’s favorite pastime, Vivek Ramaswamy has officially announced that the Department Of Government Efficiency…
Liberal White Woman Really Hoping A Black Shows Up To Her Kwanzaa Party This Year
TEMPE, AZ — Local white liberal Jennifer Armstrong is holding out hope that a black person will actually show up…
Britain Bans Puberty Blockers For Transgender Minors
Read MoreThe OnionThe United Kingdom indefinitely banned new prescriptions of puberty blockers to treat minors for gender dysphoria, with the…
Report: Every Single Toy Gifted On Christmas Is Now Broken
WORLD — The results of a shocking study released by Consumer Reports found that every single toy gifted on Christmas…
🚨 Steam Hits Record 19,000 Games in 2024! Potato Thrillers & Toilet Simulators Included 🚨
Steam — the global bazaar of video games and questionable entertainment choices — has achieved the unthinkable in 2024. According…