🧨🎷 From Masks to Money Grabs: Slipknot’s ‘Look Outside Your Window’ Album is All About Cash
In the wild world of heavy metal and clown-faced chaos, Slipknot has always been known for their hardcore music, insane…
Day: December 16, 2024
‘No Way To Prevent This,’ Says Only Nation Where This Regularly Happens
Read MoreThe OnionMADISON, WI—In the hours following a violent rampage in Wisconsin in which a lone attacker killed at least…
12 Most Common Questions Wives Ask During Movies
Women are a mystery. We literally do not understand them at all. So, we consulted with the top women researchers,…
Historians In Year 3400 Still Struggling To Figure Out Why Beyonce Was Famous
3400 AD — According to reports, researchers in the year 3400 are still struggling to discover why an artist and…
Bloated Man Recalls Halcyon Days Of 7 Oreos Ago
Read MoreThe OnionLEXINGTON, KY—Clutching his stomach and describing his nostalgia for an era now passed, 36-year-old man Steven Dewey sat…
What To Know About ‘Mufasa: The Lion King’
Read MoreThe OnionMufasa: The Lion King, the prequel to the 2019 photorealistic remake of The Lion King, arrives in theaters…
Justin Bieber Forgets Wife’s Name
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Staring blankly at the 27-year-old woman sitting across from him, musical artist Justin Bieber told reporters Thursday…