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Day: December 18, 2024

13 Most Surprising Things In The New Spending Bill
Babylon Bee

13 Most Surprising Things In The New Spending Bill

December 18, 2024

Ostensibly designed to merely keep the government open until March, suspicions arose that the new spending bill may have a…

Congress Warns Failure To Pass Spending Bill Might Delay Destruction Of The Country
Babylon Bee

Congress Warns Failure To Pass Spending Bill Might Delay Destruction Of The Country

December 18, 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. — With time running short, Congress has warned that failure to pass a massive spending bill could result…

7 Ways ‘Die Hard’ Points Us To Jesus
Babylon Bee

7 Ways ‘Die Hard’ Points Us To Jesus

December 18, 2024

It’s only a week until Christmas, which means two things — remembering the wonder of God sending Jesus into the…

The Onion

Bald Man Presses Face To Window As Thick-Haired Family Sits Down To Dinner

December 18, 2024

    Read MoreThe OnionBOSTON—Gazing longingly at the obvious warmth and good cheer within, local bald man Frank Richmond reportedly pressed his face to a window Wednesday as a thick-haired family inside…

Newborn Starting To Suspect There’s No Milk In This Pacifier
Babylon Bee

Newborn Starting To Suspect There’s No Milk In This Pacifier

December 18, 2024

CHEYENNE, WY — Local newborn Sebastian Weaver III is starting to suspect this blue nipple he’s been furiously sucking on…

RFK Jr. Advises Children To Leave Out 8 Strips of Bacon And A Bowl of Beef Tallow For Santa This Year
Babylon Bee

RFK Jr. Advises Children To Leave Out 8 Strips of Bacon And A Bowl of Beef Tallow For Santa This Year

December 18, 2024

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Robert F. Kennedy Jr. continued his campaign to make America healthy again by advising kids to leave…

FBI Assures Nation Drones Just U.S. Government Spying On Its Own Citizens
Babylon Bee

FBI Assures Nation Drones Just U.S. Government Spying On Its Own Citizens

December 18, 2024

U.S. — FBI Director Christopher Wray sought to reassure Americans that the drones being spotted over New Jersey were simply…

😡 Audiences Roast Sony’s Kraven the Hunter Disaster: ‘Even Green-Haired Critics Hated It!
🎦 Sony’s Superhero Saga Takes a Nosedive: Why Nobody’s Buying Tickets for Kraven
Movie News

😡 Audiences Roast Sony’s Kraven the Hunter Disaster: ‘Even Green-Haired Critics Hated It!

Finn McFrameDecember 18, 2024December 18, 2024

Sony’s latest superhero movie «Kraven the Hunter» has officially claimed the crown for the worst opening weekend in the studio’s…

The Onion

CEO Motivates Self By Keeping Own Photo On Desk

December 18, 2024

    Read MoreThe Oniony he comes to work every morning, Solarion Enterprises CEO Dan Lipcot told reporters Friday that in order…

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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