Inflatable Snowman Begins To Wonder What The Point Of Existence Even Is
SAN BERNADINO, CA — Laying in a misshapen heap amidst a pile of decorative rocks, a local inflatable snowman began…
Month: December 2024
Morpheus Offers 40-Year-Old Man Ibuprofen Or Pepto-Bismol
UNKNOWN LOCATION — The infamous hacker known as Morpheus reportedly encountered a desperate 40-year-old, where he offered the man the…
Jumping The Shark? Hallmark Releases Christmas Movie SET IN SPACE
U.S. — Concerns have arisen that the Hallmark Channel has finally exhausted its supply of movie plots after the network…
Daniel Penny Judge Tells Jury To Go Back And Deliberate Again Until They Come Back With The Correct Verdict
NEW YORK CITY — Judge Maxwell Wiley has ordered the jury in Daniel Penny’s trial to go back and keep…
Wife Pops Into Bathroom For Quick 97-Minute Shower
NORFOLK, VA — Local woman Julie Adamson jumped into the shower this morning for a brief shower clocking in at…
The Babylon Bee Presents: More Accurate Wedding Vows For Him And Her
Since marriage vows don’t always accurately depict what happens in a marriage, they can set unrealistic expectations. Read MoreBabylon Bee
How Oklahoma Schools Are Incorporating The Bible Into Curriculum
Read MoreThe OnionRyan Walters, Oklahoma’s superintendent of public instruction, has ordered schools to incorporate the Bible into lesson plans for…
Terrifier Goes Disney?🎃🐭 Damien Leone Says His Creepy CGI Gnomes Were Hijacked!
Damien Leone, the audacious director behind the cult slasher hit Terrifier, is accusing none other than Disney of swiping his…
Prosecutors Warn Daniel Penny Acquittal Could Lead To Rampant Acts Of Heroism
Read MoreBabylon Bee
South Korean President Faces Impeachment After Declaring Martial Law
Read MoreThe OnionSouth Korea’s President Yoon Suk Yeol faced parliamentary moves to impeach him after sending heavily armed forces into…