So, apparently, former VIXEN singer Lorraine Lewis (who? 🤷♀️) did an interview with Brutal Planet Media (never heard of ’em) where she spilled all the tea ☕ about getting the boot 🥾 after five whole years! She claims she didn’t leave; oh no, sweetie, she was FIRED! 🔥 And get this, she thinks she ELEVATED the band. 🙄 As if VIXEN needed elevation. Maybe a good defibrillator to revive them from the 80s? 🤣 And she comes from the “school of David Lee Roth” – you know, the school of sticking your tongue out a lot. 👅 Groundbreaking stuff, really.
Lorraine (still googling her…) misses the VIXEN girls (whoever they are now), but “everything happens for a reason.” Yeah, like maybe your stage presence was a bit too much for a band desperately clinging to whatever relevance they have left? 🤔 She knew it was never “her band,” but she gave it her all! Bless her heart. 🙏 She “elevated the brand,” guys! Someone get this woman a medal 🏅… or maybe just a mirror so she can see how delusional she sounds. 🪞
The best part? She has NO IDEA why she was fired! 🤣 Two weeks before the summer tour, new outfits and everything! She asked why, but was told “the reasons don’t matter.” Oh honey, they ALWAYS matter! Unless the reason is, like, you replaced the original singer, and fans can’t tell the difference between the two of you… maybe you should consider moving on. 🤷♀️
Lorraine, bless her heart, has a theory. It’s all Roxy’s fault! Roxy Petrucci, the drummer, apparently runs the whole show. 🥁 Lorraine’s known Roxy for 30 years, and maybe she’s just “too much” for her. Too much what? Too much hairspray? Too much leopard print? Too much delusion? 🤣 She just wants to have fun and express herself! Rock and roll can’t be tamed! 🦁 Rawr! But maybe it can be slightly less… cringe? Just a thought. 🤔
She talked about it on some podcast with Troy Patrick Farrell (who??). It took her weeks to even talk about it! The trauma! 😭 She was recording with Lou Gramm (okay, that’s actually kinda cool 😎), and then BAM! Phone call from the manager! “Whoa, what the hell just happened?” More like, “Whoa, is VIXEN still a thing?” 🤷♀️
The first few weeks were rough. She woke up feeling like she was in a dream. 😴 Couldn’t get her footing! Like, literally couldn’t walk straight. 🚶♀️ “Did that really happen? Am I not in the band anymore?” The DRAMA! But she’s a believer in fate and the universe! ✨ Things are always working out for her! Even getting fired from a band that peaked in the 80s! 🤣 It’s all part of the universe pushing her to her path! Which, hopefully, involves less hair metal and more self-awareness. 🙏
VIXEN’s new singer is Rosa Laricchiuta (also googling…). She made her debut with GREAT WHITE, SLAUGHTER, and QUIET RIOT! The 80s are officially back… or did they ever leave? 👵
Brittany Denaro (aka Britt Lightning – okay, that’s a pretty cool name 🤘) says Roxy is dedicated to maintaining the “musical integrity” of VIXEN. Musical integrity? With one original member left? 🤔 That’s like saying your grandma’s vintage Tupperware collection has “historical significance.” 🤣 But Britt trusts Roxy! She’s been doing this a long time! Like, since before Britt was born probably. 👶
Britt says sometimes things “run its course.” Yeah, like maybe Lorraine’s course ran straight into a brick wall of 80s nostalgia. 🧱 She can’t speak about the reasons for the firing, but it doesn’t matter! They’re forging ahead! With new music! That’s gonna rock! 🤘 (Doubtful, but okay.)
Getting along with the new singer is important! Because musicians get paid to travel! ✈️ (Wait, they get PAID?!) And if you’re stuck with someone who drives you nuts, it’s the worst thing ever! True! Unless that person is the drummer who owns the band and you just got fired by them. 😬 Then it’s just awkward.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
