OMG! 😱 It’s happening! Krysten Ritter, AKA Jessica Jones, AKA the only reason anyone watched those gritty Netflix Marvel shows, is crawling back into the MCU! Apparently, she’s slumming it in Daredevil: Born Again Season 2. 🙄 Did anyone actually ask for this? I mean, sure, she was good at looking perpetually hungover and punching walls, but is that *really* what the MCU needs right now? More wall-punching? 🤔
So, according to Variety (whoever they are), Disney decided to unleash Ritter at some “upfront presentation” in New York. I bet that was thrilling. 😴 Charlie Cox was there too, probably trying to remember if he’s supposed to be British or American this time around. 🤷♂️ Let’s be honest, the only reason they’re bringing back these Netflix characters is because they ran out of ideas and realized people still remember those shows fondly (or at least, *some* people do… mostly the ones who still think Daredevil is cool).
This whole “bridging the Netflix Marvel series with the current MCU” thing is just corporate-speak for “we messed up and need to fix it.” The Netflix shows were dark, gritty, and actually had *gasp* character development. Now they’re gonna be watered down for the Disney+ crowd, filled with cameos and cringey jokes. Prepare for Jessica Jones to suddenly start making quips about Thanos and hanging out with Squirrel Girl. 🤮
Ritter herself is apparently “enthusiastic” about returning. Of course she is! It’s a paycheck! Plus, let’s face it, what else has she been doing lately? Knitting sweaters? I’m sure she misses the days of brooding in dimly lit bars and yelling at Kilgrave. Although, knowing Disney, they’ll probably replace Kilgrave with a sentient Roomba voiced by Seth Rogen. 🤦♀️
“It’s so great to be back, returning to Jessica after three seasons and The Defenders and now joining the MCU,” Ritter allegedly said. Oh, honey, “great” is a strong word. More like “necessary to pay my bills.” And let’s not forget The Defenders. That dumpster fire of a team-up. Remember how everyone was so hyped for it, and then it turned out to be a boring, poorly-written mess? Good times. 🔥
She continued, “I’m so excited to bring back this iconic character, and without giving too much away, there is much more in store for Jessica Jones. This is going to be an incredible season!” “Iconic”? Really? I mean, she was good, but let’s not pretend she’s Iron Man or Captain America. And “incredible”? I’ll believe it when I see it. My prediction: Jessica Jones will spend most of the season rolling her eyes at Daredevil’s “Catholic guilt” and making sarcastic comments about the Avengers. 🙄
The article goes on and on about how “iconic” Ritter’s portrayal was. Okay, we get it, she nailed the whole “damaged anti-hero” thing. But let’s be real, the Netflix shows were a mixed bag. Daredevil was good (at least the first season), Jessica Jones had its moments, Luke Cage was… there, Iron Fist was a crime against humanity, and The Punisher was basically just a glorified shooting gallery. 🤷♂️
And then there was The Defenders. Oh, The Defenders. The show that promised so much and delivered so little. Four heroes, one villain, and a whole lot of wasted potential. It was like watching a group of cats try to herd a particularly stubborn laser pointer. 🐱
But hey, at least Disney is “gradually reintroducing the beloved figures.” Translation: they’re testing the waters to see which characters they can exploit for maximum profit. And Daredevil: Born Again is apparently spearheading this new chapter. Because what the MCU *really* needs is more Daredevil. 🙄
The first season of Born Again was met with “mixed reviews.” Which is code for “it sucked, but people were too afraid to admit it.” Cox and D’Onofrio are back, which is cool, but let’s not pretend this is going to be anything like the original Netflix series. It’s gonna be sanitized, family-friendly, and probably filled with more CGI than a Transformers movie. 🤖
Jon Bernthal is also confirmed to return as The Punisher. Which means we’re in for another round of “is he a hero or a villain?” debates. Spoiler alert: he’s a dude with a skull on his chest who shoots people. He’s probably not going to be teaching kindergarten anytime soon. 💀
So, there you have it. Jessica Jones is back. Get ready for more brooding, more drinking, and more eye-rolling. And try not to get your hopes up too high. Because let’s be honest, Disney has a way of ruining everything. 💔
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
