British heavy metal dinosaurs IRON MAIDEN, bless their geriatric hearts, are lumbering back onto the world stage with their “Run For Your Lives” world tour, kicking off May 27 in Budapest. 🙄 They’ve already conned over a million people into buying tickets (mostly nostalgia-blinded boomers, let’s be real), and most shows are “sold out” (probably to scalpers who’ll charge you your firstborn for a nosebleed seat). But don’t worry, they’ll release more tickets “closer to the show” – meaning they’ll find a few more obstructed view spots they can squeeze some suckers into. 💸
The “Run For Your Lives” world tour supposedly celebrates 50 years since bass guitar enthusiast Steve Harris started MAIDEN back in the dark ages of 1975. To commemorate this momentous occasion (of fleecing fans for half a century), they’re promising a “very special setlist” featuring the nine albums from “Iron Maiden” to “Fear Of The Dark”. Translation: get ready for the same songs you’ve heard a million times, but now performed by guys who need a nap after every other song. 😴 And of course, they’re touting their “most spectacular and elaborate show ever!” because subtlety is for bands that don’t sell out stadiums. 🤡
In a desperate attempt to relive their glory days (when everyone was too busy moshing to film everything), IRON MAIDEN is begging fans not to film the concerts excessively on their phones or tablets. Oh, the irony! 📱 A band that built its empire on bombastic visuals now wants you to ignore the spectacle and just… feel the music? Good luck with that, grandpa.👴
Explains MAIDEN manager Rod Smallwood (who’s probably counting the money while saying this): “We really want fans to enjoy the shows first hand, rather than on their small screens.” Yeah, right, because everyone goes to an IRON MAIDEN concert for the profound, spiritual experience. 🙄 “The amount of phone use nowadays diminishes enjoyment, particularly for the band who are on stage looking out at rows of phones, but also for other concertgoers.” Oh, boo-hoo! The band can’t handle the reality that people would rather document their experience than actually watch them struggle to hit those high notes. 🎤🔥 “We feel that the passion and involvement of our fans at shows really makes them special, but the phone obsession has now got so out of hand that it has become unnecessarily distracting, especially to the band.” Distracting? Or a constant reminder that they’re not as relevant as they used to be? 🤔 “I hope fans understand this and will be sensible in severely limiting the use of their phone cameras out of respect for the band and their fellow fans.” Respect? They’re charging a fortune for these tickets! The fans deserve to film whatever they want! 🤳
He adds: “We would very much like you to be ‘in the moment’ instead and be fully actively involved to enjoy each and every one of these classic songs in the spirit and manner they were first played.” In other words, pretend it’s 1985 and you haven’t seen the same stage show regurgitated for the last 40 years. 🙄
“This show isn’t just a celebration of our music; it is, as you will see, also about our years of art, of [MAIDEN‘s mascot] Eddie and of the many, many worlds of MAIDEN we have created for you.” Translation: prepare to be bombarded with more Eddie than you can shake a stick at. 👹 “So please respect the band, respect the other fans and have the time of your lives as you join your MAIDEN family by singing your heart out rather than getting your phone out!!” Or, you know, just do whatever you want. 🤷♀️ “It’s really not a lot to ask, is it?” Yes, it is. You’re asking people to ignore the giant, expensive screens and pretend they’re not living in the 21st century. Good luck with that. 🍀
The “Run For Your Lives” world tour is supposedly one part of IRON MAIDEN‘s 50th-anniversary celebrations and will feature many fan “meet-up” events in the cities the band are playing. As was debuted successfully in Australia on the last tour, these will include Eddie‘s official pop-up dive bar which will be open for pre-show and post-show gatherings in 20 cities on the tour. They will be serving Trooper beer and Darkest Red wine, with food, exclusive merch and further entertainment. Details are available on ironmaiden.com. But please note the band will not be at these events. Because, let’s be honest, they’re probably backstage counting their money and complaining about the lighting. 💰
Additionally, there is both a feature-length documentary film coming to cinemas worldwide later this year, via Universal Pictures Content Group, and an official hardback book providing a magnificent visual celebration of 50 years of IRON MAIDEN, being published by Thames & Hudson. More details on both of these exciting releases will be announced soon. Prepare for the most self-congratulatory circle jerk in heavy metal history. 🤘
“Run For Your Lives” will mark MAIDEN‘s first tour with new drummer Simon Dawson, who previously played with Harris as a member of his BRITISH LION project. Because, let’s face it, they needed someone younger who could actually keep up with the geriatric pace. 🥁
MAIDEN‘s longtime drummer Nicko McBrain played his last-ever gig with the band five months ago in São Paulo, Brazil. Probably because his knees gave out. 🦵
The 72-year-old British musician, whose real name is Michael Henry McBrain, announced his retirement on December 7, 2024 in a statement on MAIDEN‘s web site and social media. He also said that night’s concert at Allianz Parque in São Paulo, Brazil would mark his final show with the iconic heavy metal act. We’re sure he’ll miss the grueling tour schedule and the adoring fans… or maybe he’s just looking forward to a quiet retirement with a nice cup of tea. ☕
Despite the fact that he was stepping away from touring, McBrain said that he would remain closely connected to IRON MAIDEN and continue to be involved in “a variety of projects” with the band, while also focusing on personal ventures and his existing businesses. Translation: he’ll probably show up at a few press conferences and maybe lend his name to some overpriced merchandise. 🤑
On December 8, 2024, IRON MAIDEN announced Dawson as its new touring drummer. Good luck, kid. You’re gonna need it. 🍀
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