Oh, great, another video game movie. 🙄 Because Hollywood hasn’t butchered enough beloved franchises already. Apparently, A24 thinks they can handle the absolute behemoth that is Elden Ring. Good luck with that, guys. You’re gonna need it. Seriously, though, prepare for disappointment. I’m already bracing myself for the inevitable cringe. 🍿
But wait, before you start spamming “git gud” in the comments, let’s pretend to be cautiously optimistic (for like, a second). So, the Elden Ring movie is supposedly in “pre-production.” Which, in Hollywood terms, means they’ve probably had, like, one meeting and a bunch of brainstorming sessions fueled by overpriced coffee and dreams of Oscar glory. In the absence of any actual news, let’s dive into the abyss of speculation, shall we? 🤡 We’ll dissect every tiny crumb of information like we’re solving the Kennedy assassination.
For more totally crucial info, be sure to check out the latest on Elden Ring Nightreign (whatever that is) and all the “tips and tricks” you need to beat the Elden Ring main bosses. Because, you know, that’s totally relevant to a movie adaptation. 🤦♀️
Elden Ring movie release date speculation
Announced in May 2025 (because apparently, we need YEARS to prepare for this cinematic masterpiece), the Elden Ring movie is currently undated. A24, in their infinite wisdom, has only confirmed that they’re teaming up with Bandai Namco and that Alex Garland will be directing. No casting news yet, which means we can all start wildly speculating about who should play Melina (my vote’s on Danny DeVito). 🤪
Frankly, this means the Elden Ring movie is still a distant dream. They’re using The Legend of Zelda movie (announced in late 2023, coming March 2027) as a benchmark. So, buckle up, folks, because we’re probably looking at a 2028 release date. Or maybe 2027, who knows? It all depends on when they actually start filming. The only glimmer of hope is that Alex Garland isn’t currently drowning in other projects. But let’s be real, something will probably come up. 🤷♂️
Elden Ring movie story: will it adapt FromSoftware’s game?
Here’s a shocker: there’s been no official word on whether the movie will actually adapt the story from the game or the Shadow of the Erdtree DLC. Maybe they’ll just make something up entirely? A romantic comedy set in The Lands Between? 🤔 I wouldn’t put it past them.
Even if they don’t stick to the source material (which, let’s be honest, they probably won’t), they can always rely on George R.R. Martin’s lore. After all, he’s the guy who wrote all the world’s history and backstory. Basically, everything before the player’s Tarnished shows up is his doing. So, you know, expect lots of intricate political maneuvering, backstabbing, and characters dying for no good reason. 💀
So, what’s Elden Ring even about? Well, buckle up for a lore dump that will make your head spin. You’re a Tarnished, banished from The Lands Between. But when the Elden Ring (a mythical MacGuffin) is shattered, you’re summoned back to fix it. Your mission: collect the Great Runes from the Shardbearers, who are mostly insane and corrupted by power. Easy peasy, right? 😇
Of course, there are centuries of history hidden in item descriptions, dialogue, and environmental details. One character deeply involved in this history is Vyke, who some fans want as the movie’s protagonist. Because why not? He’s basically a Tarnished who went mad after chasing his maiden. Perfect leading man material. 🤡
Elden Ring movie director: who is Alex Garland?
Alex Garland, a prolific writer and director, is at the helm. He’s the guy who wrote 28 Days Later and directed Ex Machina and Civil War. So, he’s got some experience with dystopian worlds and morally ambiguous characters. Which is… promising? I guess? 😐
Garland also has some video game cred. He wrote Enslaved: Odyssey to the West and was a story supervisor on DmC: Devil May Cry. Plus, he’s apparently beaten Elden Ring six times. So, at least he knows the source material. Or maybe he’s just addicted to dying repeatedly. 🤷♀️
Elden Ring movie cast and characters: who could appear?
Elden Ring is overflowing with memorable characters, terrifying monsters, and corrupted champions. But who will make the cut for the movie? Your guess is as good as mine.
Since no one’s been cast yet, and we don’t know which part of the lore Garland will adapt, it’s impossible to say for sure. But I’d be shocked if Queen Marika isn’t a major character. She’s basically the god and ruler of The Lands Between, and the source of all the conflict. Plus, her family tree is more convoluted than a Tolkien novel. 🌳
Her story involves exile, secret flames, incestuous self-love, and cursed children. Basically, it’s a soap opera with swords and sorcery. One of Radagon’s children, Ranni, leads a rebellion against Marika, which leads to the shattering of the Elden Ring and a massive civil war. So, yeah, plenty of material for a movie.
Fans have already suggested Charles Dance as Gideon Ofnir. Because, you know, he’s basically Tywin Lannister in a fantasy game. As a twisted version of the player’s Tarnished, he could be a great way to explore The Lands Between. But let’s be real, the casting choices will probably be terrible. 😭
When can we expect an Elden Ring movie trailer?
Don’t hold your breath for an Elden Ring movie trailer anytime soon. We’re probably looking at a teaser six months before the release date. So, keep an eye on big gaming events like Summer Game Fest and The Game Awards. That’s where they’ll probably drop the trailer to generate hype. 🙄
In the meantime, lower your expectations. This could be a train wreck of epic proportions. But hey, at least we’ll have something to laugh at. 😂
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
