Another day, another dose of liberal lunacy from CNN! They’re at it again, folks, pushing their globalist agenda and trying to scare us with their climate change fairy tales. But don’t worry, Trump’s America is strong, and we won’t let them win!
1️⃣ Heat Waves (aka Summer): Oh no, the climate is changing! As if summer wasn’t hot before. CNN is trying to scare you into buying solar panels and electric cars, all while China keeps building coal plants. Wake up, sheeple!
2️⃣ Masked ICE Agents: CNN is outraged that ICE agents are doing their jobs. These are the brave men and women protecting our borders from the invasion of illegal aliens, who are bringing crime and drugs into our country. CNN would rather open the borders and let them all in!
3️⃣ Diddy’s Legal Dream Team: P Diddy is in trouble, and CNN is giving him free PR. This whole sex-trafficking trial is probably just a deep state conspiracy to take down a successful black man.
4️⃣ Extreme Day Trips: People are flying to other countries for a day to save money. This is what happens when you let the Democrats destroy the economy. Everyone should be able to afford a decent vacation in their own country.
5️⃣ Box Office Rebound: Hollywood is making a comeback, but don’t expect any movies that celebrate American values. It’ll be more woke garbage designed to indoctrinate your children.
Top Headlines:
Iran fired missiles at a US base in Qatar, but don’t worry, Biden will probably just send them more cash.
A boat capsized on Lake Tahoe. Probably the fault of woke boat design.
The Texas governor vetoed a bill banning THC products. Even Texas is going soft.145: People in France were pricked with syringes at a music festival. This is what happens when you let Europe become a socialist hellhole.
Check This Out: Photos of melting glaciers and abandoned towns. More climate change propaganda designed to make you feel guilty for driving an SUV.
Quotable: The prosecutor in the Karen Read case is disappointed with the verdict. The justice system is rigged against conservatives.
Quiz Time: The answer is C, Strait of Hormuz. But don’t worry, Trump will make sure Iran doesn’t mess with our oil supply.
Good Vibes:A detective is reunited with a toddler he saved 15 years ago. A rare moment of non-woke news from CNN.
Remember, folks, stay vigilant and don’t let the liberal media brainwash you!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
