Well, well, well, look what we have here, folks! ðļ Our favorite Spaceman, Ace Frehley, has officially crash-landed on that big rock show in the sky at the ripe old age of 74. ð Who knew that all those years of rocking and rolling (all night, and partying every day, allegedly) would eventually catch up with him? ðĪĢ
According to a statement released to Variety (because, you know, TMZ isn’t classy enough for this sort of thing ð), Frehley‘s family is “completely devastated and heartbroken.” ð Awww, how touching! They were apparently surrounding him with “loving, caring, peaceful words, thoughts, prayers, and intentions” as he shuffled off this mortal coil. ð I’m sure Ace was just thrilled to have a captive audience for his final moments. ð But hey, at least they’ll always have those “finest memories” and his “laughter” to remember him by. ð The magnitude of his passing is of “epic proportions,” they say. ð Really? Epic? More like… mildly amusing. ðĪ·ââïļ
Oh, and remember that tour he was supposed to do in 2025? ð Yeah, that’s been scrapped due to “medical issues.” ð Turns out, falling in your studio isn’t exactly conducive to rocking out on stage. ðĪ Who knew? ðĪ
Speaking of falls, apparently, Ace had a “minor fall” at his home before the tour cancelation. ð Must have been all that gravity getting to him. ð Maybe he should have invested in a better anti-gravity system. ð
So, the story goes that after his “minor fall,” Ace was whisked away to the hospital ðĨ and told to refrain from travel. Guess the doctor didn’t want him rocking and rolling straight into an early grave. ðŠĶ Too late, doc! ðĪĢ
Ace, bless his heart, was on KISS‘s first nine albums ðŋ and even came back for the “Psycho Circus” reunion album. ðĪĄ But, like a true spaceman, he couldn’t stay grounded for too long and blasted off again. ð He even got inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame with the rest of the KISS crew in 2014. ð Bet he was thrilled to share the spotlight with Gene and Paul. ð
He left KISS in ’82, came back in ’96, and then bounced again in ’02 after the first “farewell tour.” ð Farewell tour, part one of, like, fifty? ðĪĢ And now, some dude named Tommy Thayer is parading around as the Spaceman. ðĻâð Talk about a downgrade. ð
At the time of his demise, Frehley was busy working on “Origins Vol. 3,” a collection of cover songs that inspired him. ðķ Because, you know, originality is overrated. ðĪ·ââïļ
His last solo album, “10,000 Volts,” came out in February 2024. âĄBet it was a real shocker. ðĪŊ It was the follow-up to “Spaceman,” released in 2018. ð Full circle, I guess. â
And get this, Gene Simmons actually co-wrote a couple of tracks on “Spaceman.” âïļ Talk about a reunion of sorts. Maybe Gene was just trying to get a piece of the action. ð°
Apparently, Ace had a backing band. ðļðĨðĪ Who knew he needed help? ðĪ
Oh, and remember that “Kiss Kruise: Land-locked In Vegas” event? ðĒ Well, Ace turned down an invite. ð Said he was “having too much fun doing my own thing.” ð Yeah, right. Probably just didn’t want to be upstaged by Gene and Paul. ð He also mentioned maybe getting inducted into the Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame as a solo artist. ð Dream on, Ace, dream on. ðī
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chordâs first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competitionâand won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
