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Day: November 17, 2025

Supreme Court to Decide if Trump’s “No Asylum, GTFO” Policy Was a Tad Harsh
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Supreme Court to Decide if Trump’s “No Asylum, GTFO” Policy Was a Tad Harsh

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

The Supreme Court, in a move that’s got the Left absolutely seething, has agreed to review President Trump’s rock-solid immigration…

RUNNING WILD to FINALLY Release New Album in Summer 2026 (If They Remember To)
Breaking, Music News

RUNNING WILD to FINALLY Release New Album in Summer 2026 (If They Remember To)

Chord F. DiscordNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Ahoy, mateys! Prepare yourselves for another legendary saga! 🤣 The geriatric pirates of RUNNING WILD are STILL allegedly working on…

Wake Up, Buttercup: Another Knives Out Trailer to Judge Harshly
Benoit Blanc returns, probably to solve another murder because that's literally all he does. 😴
Breaking, Movie News

Wake Up, Buttercup: Another Knives Out Trailer to Judge Harshly

FinnNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Daniel Craig is BACK (again) as Benoit Blanc in Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery, because apparently, Rian…

Trump’s Big Brain Still Deciding If Venezuela Needs a Good Ol’ Freedom Fry
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump’s Big Brain Still Deciding If Venezuela Needs a Good Ol’ Freedom Fry

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Our glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is considering liberating Venezuela from the clutches of that commie dictator Maduro!…

Paul Stanley Threatens World with ‘Probable’ New KISS Music: ‘I’ve Been Writing’
Breaking, Music News

Paul Stanley Threatens World with ‘Probable’ New KISS Music: ‘I’ve Been Writing’

Chord F. DiscordNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

On November 16th, the geriatric quartet known as KISS 👴👵— Paul Stanley (aka the Starchild who should really embrace his…

Record Number Of Women Want To Leave U.S.
The Onion

Record Number Of Women Want To Leave U.S.

FinnNovember 17, 2025

       A record 40% of American women aged 15–44 say they would like to move abroad permanently, more than twice…

Trump Imposes 100% Tax On Movies Where Slaves Escape
The Onion

Trump Imposes 100% Tax On Movies Where Slaves Escape

FinnNovember 17, 2025

       WASHINGTON—In an effort to bring an end to what he described as an anti-American trend in filmmaking, President Donald…

FAA Freaks Out, Ends Airport Diet Plan After Tantrum Throws Government in Timeout, Sources Claim
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

FAA Freaks Out, Ends Airport Diet Plan After Tantrum Throws Government in Timeout, Sources Claim

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump! The FAA flight reduction hoax, clearly a Deep State attempt to make our…

Charlotte’s Great-Granddaughter Has a Meltdown Over DHS Using Her Grandma’s Book Title for… Reasons
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Charlotte’s Great-Granddaughter Has a Meltdown Over DHS Using Her Grandma’s Book Title for… Reasons

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Operation Charlotte’s Web”: Finally, Someone’s Using Children’s Lit the RIGHT Way! While liberals cry about “raid” tactics (boo hoo!), President…

State Dept to brand Venezuelan Cartel as certified super-villains, because why not
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

State Dept to brand Venezuelan Cartel as certified super-villains, because why not

Big ElephantNovember 17, 2025November 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for President Trump in the ongoing battle against globalist scum and their drug-peddling pals! Secretary of…

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  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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