So, Superman director James Gunn, fresh from ruining Marvel, has decided to grace DC with his presence, and guess what? He’s bringing the whole gang! 🥳 Apparently, Bradley Cooper, aka Rocket Raccoon’s voice, is now playing Superman’s dad, Jor-El. Because, you know, why not? It’s not like DC fans have any expectations left after the Snyderverse debacle. 🤷♂️
Gunn, in an interview with Jake’s Takes (whoever that is), claimed that Cooper is just doing him a “favor.” A favor? Is this a student film or a multi-million dollar blockbuster? 🙄 “Hey Brad, wanna fly to England, get scanned in 3D, and be a hologram? It’ll be fun!” I bet Cooper was thrilled. Probably needed a break from his Oscar-bait roles to slum it in the DCU. 😂
And get this, Gunn even teased that Cooper’s Jor-El *might* appear in future DCU projects. Oh, the suspense! 🙄 I’m sure everyone’s on the edge of their seats wondering if Hologram Jor-El will dispense more profound wisdom from beyond the grave. Maybe he’ll give Superman tips on how to avoid bad CGI. 🤔
But wait, there’s more! 🤡 It’s not just Cooper! Pom Klementieff (Mantis) and Michael Rooker (Yondu) are also joining the party as the voices of robots in Superman’s Fortress of Solitude. So basically, it’s “Guardians of the Galaxy” meets “Superman,” except probably worse. 😬 I can already hear the groans from comic book purists. 🤣
The movie, starring David Corenswet as Superman (who?), is about him juggling his human and Kryptonian lives while Lex Luthor (Nicholas Hoult) tries to ruin everything. Groundbreaking stuff, I know. 🙄 But Corenswet wants you to know that Gunn’s DCU is different! It’s all about the “individual stories” and not some overarching plan. Translation: they’re making it up as they go along. 🤣
Corenswet, bless his heart, claims that sticking too closely to a plan would “compromise the things that are actually important.” Like, what? Making sure the actors get paid? 🤔 He says Gunn and Safran just want to make “good movies and good television shows” that are “worth watching, and worth rewatching.” Yeah, good luck with that. 🤣 I’m sure this will be a cinematic masterpiece that will be quoted for generations to come. NOT! 🤡
So, mark your calendars for July 11th, when “Superman” hits theaters and probably crashes and burns like every other DC movie in recent memory. 🔥 Get ready for more cameos, more convoluted plotlines, and more questionable casting choices. Because in the DCU, anything is possible…especially disappointment. 😜
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.