Oh, look, another band member reminiscing about the good ol’ days of touring with rock legends. This time, it’s CHEVELLE’s very own drum-banger, Sam Loeffler, spilling the tea ☕ on his encounters with the Prince of Darkness, Ozzy Osbourne, who, surprise, surprise, hasn’t actually kicked the bucket yet 💀 (contrary to what this article intro might imply, LOL). In a riveting interview with Baby Huey and Chasta of 107.7 The Bone (because who else would care?), Sam regaled us with tales of… niceness? Seriously? Is this the most exciting rock ‘n’ roll story you could muster, Sam? 😴
Apparently, CHEVELLE, in their younger, more naive days, toured with Ozzy during Ozzfest in 2002 and 2003. Sam, bless his heart, described Ozzy as “the kindest, nicest man.” Yeah, yeah, we get it. Ozzy offered you a drink. Groundbreaking stuff. 🙄 He also shared a heartwarming anecdote about visiting Ozzy‘s house with David Draiman from DISTURBED (who?) and Marilyn Manson (oh dear, what a combo). Apparently, Ozzy was just so darn hospitable. Shocker! 😲
But wait, there’s more! Sam, in his infinite wisdom, decided to share a “funny story” involving Ozzfest and Ozzy‘s wife, Sharon Osbourne, who, let’s be honest, is the real star of this show. 🌟 Apparently, CHEVELLE got the boot from Ozzfest for daring to open for the mighty FOO FIGHTERS. Can you believe the audacity? 😠 But fear not, dear readers, for Sharon, in her infinite generosity (or maybe just greed), offered them a way back in: pay her the $30,000 they made from the FOO FIGHTERS gigs. What a steal! 💰
Sam, bless his cotton socks, tried to make sense of Sharon‘s actions, suggesting there might have been some behind-the-scenes drama between her, their record label, and Ozzy‘s label rep. Maybe CHEVELLE was just “collateral damage.” 🤷♂️ Who knows? Who cares? The important thing is that Sharon Osbourne got her money. 🤑
But hey, at the end of the day, Sam insists it was a “really fun tour” and “totally worth it.” Sure, Sam, sure. Whatever helps you sleep at night. 😴
In other news (that nobody asked for), CHEVELLE released a new album called “Bright As Blasphemy” on August 15. It’s their first release through Alchemy Recordings, which, let’s be honest, sounds like a Harry Potter spell gone wrong. 🧙♂️ Good luck with that, guys. You’ll need it.
So, there you have it, folks. Another band member’s boring recollections of touring with rock legends. Tune in next time for more thrilling tales of backstage encounters and label drama. Yawn. 🥱
P.S. Did anyone actually listen to CHEVELLE‘s new album? Asking for a friend. 🤔
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
