I just spilled my beer all over my shirt while reading that William Shatner, the 95-year-old legend behind Captain James T. Kirk, is planning to take his upcoming heavy metal album to the stage. I mean, who needs a social life when you can spend your golden years screaming “SPACE, THE FINAL FRONTIER” to a crowd of headbangers? 🤟
According to sources close to the matter (or maybe just a press release), Shatner’s album will feature an all-star cast of rock and metal superstars, including Mikkey Dee (MOTÖRHEAD, SCORPIONS), Dave Lombardo (SLAYER, MISFITS), and Chris Adler (MEGADETH), among others. Because what’s a heavy metal album without a few dozen guest appearances, am I right? 🤷♂️
The Plot Thickens
Shatner’s production team is being led by Adam Hamilton (L.A. GUNS, BRIAN JONESTOWN MASSACRE) and Brian Perera, president of Cleopatra Records. With a team like that, you can bet your bottom dollar that this album will be a wild ride. I mean, who wouldn’t want to hear Shatner’s dramatic storytelling and unmistakable voice paired with crushing guitar riffs and pounding drums? It’s like a match made in heaven… or hell, depending on how you look at it 😂.
Shatner himself has said, “I needed pounding beats to make the music feel the way I feel it. The drums drive the emotion. They create the urgency, the excitement, the danger. Heavy metal should hit you in the chest and move your soul at the same time.” Yeah, because that’s exactly what the world is missing – a 95-year-old man screaming about the power of heavy metal 🙄.
Other featured drummers on the project include Vinny Appice (BLACK SABBATH), Carmine Appice (VANILLA FUDGE, CACTUS), Kenny Aronoff (Steve Vai), Simon Wright (AC/DC, UFO), Bobby Rondinelli (BLUE ÖYSTER CULT, QUIET RIOT), Matt Starr (Ace Frehley, Joe Lynn Turner), Steve Zing (DANZIG, SAMHAIN, MOURNING NOISE), and Fred Aching (KINGS OF THRASH, NUCLEAR MESSIAH, FRAXURES). It’s like a drumming hall of fame up in here! 🥁
But Wait, There’s More!
Shatner’s album is being described as a “once-in-a-lifetime event – an unforgettable collision of heavy metal power, theatrical imagination, and the boundless creative spirit of William Shatner.” I mean, who wouldn’t want to see a 95-year-old man in a leather jacket and sunglasses, screaming about the power of rock ‘n’ roll? It’s like a bad joke come to life 🎸.
The album is set to be released soon, with more details to follow. In the meantime, I’ll just be over here, trying to wrap my head around the fact that William Shatner is making a heavy metal album. I mean, what’s next? A rap album from Dick Van Dyke? 🤣
In all seriousness, though, it’s hard to deny Shatner’s enthusiasm and dedication to his craft. The man has had an incredible career spanning over 70 years, with countless iconic roles and achievements under his belt. So, who are we to judge if he wants to spend his golden years making heavy metal music? 🤷♂️
So, there you have it – William Shatner, the heavy metal king of the universe. Who knows what the future holds for this unlikely metalhead? Maybe a world tour with a bunch of other elderly rockstars? A heavy metal cookbook? The possibilities are endless 🤯. Stay tuned, folks! 🎸
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
