Oh. My. Glob. 🙄 Netflix, in its infinite wisdom (or lack thereof), has deigned to announce the official air date for Tudum 2025. Yes, you heard that right, ANOTHER Tudum. Because apparently, the world wasn’t already saturated with enough content. Get ready for a full slate of, uh, “content” that’s coming to further clog the streamer. Prepare your eyeballs and your wallets, because Netflix is coming for you, whether you like it or not! 😈
Tuduuuum! (Or, as I like to call it, “Tudumb,” because let’s be real). Netflix, in a desperate attempt to remain relevant, has declared that Tudum 2025 will descend upon us like a plague of locusts on Saturday, May 31st, at 5 p.m. PT / 8 p.m. ET. For those of you across the pond or down under, that’s Sunday, June 1st, at the ungodly hours of 1 a.m. BST and 10 a.m. AEST, respectively. Hope you weren’t planning on sleeping! This “global event,” which inexplicably began in 2020 (a year we’d all like to forget), is back for its SIXTH installment. Seriously, who’s asking for this? This year’s in-person extravaganza will be held at the Kia Forum in Los Angeles. So, if you enjoy overpriced snacks and being crammed like sardines with other screaming fans, this is your paradise. 🤡
The earth-shattering announcement arrived in the form of a Tudum 2025 trailer, which I’m sure is just brimming with originality. Based on the new Netflix movies (which are probably just remakes of remakes) and some of the streamer’s “best-known” shows (aka the ones they haven’t cancelled yet), it seems Netflix is trying to convince us that this year’s event will be the “best one yet.” Yeah, sure, just like every fast food chain claims to have the “best burger ever.” Don’t believe the hype, people! 🙅♀️
From earth-shattering “new information” about the final seasons of Squid Game (because milking a dead cow is always a good idea) and Stranger Things (which should have ended like, three seasons ago) to mind-blowing “details” about new films, including Happy Gilmore 2 (because Adam Sandler needs more money) and Knives Out 3 (hope you like plot holes!), Netflix devotees (aka those who haven’t realized there are other streaming services) will supposedly “not want to miss” this year’s edition of the fan celebration. We can also expect Wednesday‘s second season to take centre stage, because apparently, one season of Addams Family-lite wasn’t enough to satisfy the masses. 🙄
The Netflix Tudum trailer (which I’m sure is a masterpiece of marketing manipulation) offered a “brief glimpse” at titles that are “expected” to showcase details during the upcoming broadcast. Here’s a list of the movies, TV shows, and other “entertainment” offerings that will likely disappoint us all:
- Emily in Paris Season 5 (More cringe-worthy fashion and stereotypical French clichés? Sign me up… NOT!)
- Guillermo del Toro’s Frankenstein (Because we haven’t seen enough Frankenstein adaptations already)
- Happy Gilmore 2 (Prepare for more slapstick comedy that hasn’t aged well)
- Love is Blind (Still trying to convince us that love is blind? I call BS!)
- One Piece Season 2 (Will they manage to make it even more unfaithful to the source material?)
- Outer Banks Season 5 (Teen drama with questionable plotlines? Groundbreaking!)
- The Rip (Sounds… thrilling? Or maybe just sleep-inducing)
- Squid Game Season 3 (They’re really scraping the bottom of the barrel now)
- Stranger Things Season 5 (Just end already!)
- America’s Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders (Because we all needed more reality TV)
- The Life List (Another generic feel-good movie? Yawn)
- Wake Up Dead Man: A Knives Out Mystery (More convoluted mysteries with unlikeable characters? Fantastic.)
- Wednesday Season 2 (Prepare for more TikTok dances and forced quirkiness)
- WWE (Because apparently, Netflix is now a sports channel)
The first Tudum event was held in January 2020 in Brazil, as a “multi-title festival” celebrating Netflix’s “young adult” content. It drew more than 50,000 fans. Since then, Tudum has “evolved” across multiple formats, “cementing its place” as a “signature global event.” Or, you know, just becoming another way for Netflix to waste money and inflate its ego. 💅
In 2023, Tudum returned to Brazil, drawing over 35,000 in-person attendees and recording more than 78 million views across Netflix’s global social channels. General public ticket sales for Netflix Tudum 2025: The Live Event will be available on Ticketmaster starting Friday, May 9th. So, if you want to spend your hard-earned money on a glorified advertisement, be my guest! 🤡
Netflix has “expanded” into several new avenues, exploring the mobile video game market and “growing” its anime offerings. The mobile version of the streamer currently houses more than 120 “exclusive” mobile games. Netflix continues to “expand” its anime library as well, slowly migrating One Piece episodes to the platform while working on the upcoming second season of its live-action adaptation (which, let’s be honest, was a train wreck). 🚂
All live events on Netflix are included in all plans, including Netflix Tudum 2025: The Live Event. Be sure to tune in to Tudum 2025 to “discover” the latest updates from Netflix! Or, you know, just spend your time doing something more productive. Like watching paint dry. 😴
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
