FINALLY! 🙄 After YEARS of promising, Billy Corgan (aka William Patrick Corgan, in case you forgot he’s trying to be ~artsy~) and his merry band of SMASHING PUMPKINS are gracing us with the re-re-re-reissue of “Machina/The Machines Of God” and its friend, “Machina II/The Friends & Enemies Of Modern Music.” 🙄 Get ready to empty your wallets AGAIN on August 22nd, thanks to UMe and, of course, Madame Zuzu’s Tea Shop. Because who doesn’t want to buy music from a tea shop? 🍵
So, get this: Billy Corgan’s tea emporium (because being a rock star just wasn’t cutting it) in Highland Park, Illinois, is the ONLY place you can snag the SUPER-DUPER-MEGA-ULTRA 80-song vinyl box set. 😲 Yes, you heard that right. 80 songs. 48 tracks of “Machina” plus 32 bonus tracks of demos, outtakes, and live performances that probably should have stayed in the vault. 🤷♀️ It’s the first time these two records will be united, which begs the question: why weren’t they together in the first place? 🤔 Oh, and did we mention it’s VINYL ONLY? Because Corgan apparently thinks we all have record players and infinite shelf space. 🙄
But wait, there’s more! 🎉 For those of us who aren’t willing to sell a kidney for the 80-song monstrosity, they’re also releasing a 16-song reissue of the original “Machina/The Machines Of God” vinyl on August 22nd. Pre-orders start June 27th, so mark your calendars, Pumpkinheads! 🗓️ UMe (because they clearly have nothing better to do) is also releasing various 25th-anniversary remastered formats, including a black 180g 2LP vinyl, a limited-edition corona red/black 2LP (because color variations are SO important), as well as CD and digital formats. Because even Billy Corgan knows some of us still live in the digital age. 📱
Corgan, in his infinite wisdom, said: “It’s taken some 25 years to finally release ‘Machina’ as we in the band had hoped it would be.” 🕰️ Translation: “It took me 25 years to figure out how to squeeze more money out of this album.” 💰 He continues, “‘Machina’ was meant as our swan song.” 🦢 More like a goose honk, amirite? 🤣
But wait, there’s MORE! He adds, “with MadameZuzus.com as the only place one can get this expansive, 80-song collection, I personally could not be more proud.” 🥺 Of course, he’s proud. He’s probably swimming in tea-infused money right now. 🏊♂️💸 “But with the band about to embark on a global tour in 2025, as well as my solo tour with THE MACHINES OF GOD, this set stands as a celebration and testament of will, for the songs alone have helped James, Jimmy and I keep the faith.” 🙏 Oh, so NOW they like each other? After all the drama and lineup changes? 🤔 Sure, Jan. 🙄
SMASHING PUMPKINS are set to kick off a month-long international tour beginning July 27 in Plovdiv, Bulgaria. 🇧🇬 Because why start a tour in, like, America? 🤷♀️ Fans can find full tour details and ticket information on the band’s official web site (which probably looks like it was designed in 1998). 💻 Meanwhile, Corgan’s solo project, BILLY CORGAN AND THE MACHINES OF GOD (because he needs even MORE attention), is currently wrapping up the final two headlining dates of their “A Return To Zero Tour.” 📉 Because apparently, that’s where his relevance is heading. 📉 Upcoming shows in Milwaukee, Wisconsin and Minneapolis, Minnesota. 🧀
SMASHING PUMPKINS are one of the most iconic, iconoclastic, and influential bands of all time, shaping alternative music and culture. 🙄 Yeah, yeah, we’ve heard it all before. Since forming in Chicago in 1988, the group has sold over 30 million albums worldwide and garnered two Grammy Awards, seven MTV VMAs, and an American Music Award. 🏆 Their catalog includes seminal offerings such as the platinum “Gish” (1991), the quadruple-platinum “Siamese Dream” (1993), the diamond-certified “Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness” (1995), the platinum “Adore” (1998) and the gold “Machina/The Machines Of God” (2000). 📀 Rolling Stone cited both “Siamese Dream” and “Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness” among its “500 Greatest Albums Of All Time.” 💯 (Because Rolling Stone is the ultimate authority, right? 😉)
It would also be impossible to envision alternative music and culture without SMASHING PUMPKINS’ signature iconography such as the idyllic album artwork for “Siamese Dream,” the black Zero shirt, the laissez faire bliss of the “1979” music video, the gothic metamorphosis of “Ava Adore” or the multi-dimensional live shows that sell out worldwide to this day. 🤡 2018 saw SMASHING PUMPKINS unveil “Shiny And Oh So Bright, Vol. 1 / LP: No Past. No Future. No Sun.” and launched the immensely successful “Shiny And Oh So Bright” tour, which packed arenas. 🎪 Maintaining this momentum, the band released their eleventh full-length double album, “Cyr” (2020), representing yet another evolution, and more recently, “Atum” (2023), the sequel to 1995’s “Mellon Collie And The Infinite Sadness” and 2000’s “Machina/Machine Of God.” 🔄 The band’s 2024 album, “Aghori Mhori Mei,” written in the immediate aftermath of “Atum,” sees a return to form for original members Billy Corgan, Jimmy Chamberlin and James Iha, and harkens back to the band’s early 90’s canon; where guitars, bass, drums, and spiking vocals ruled. 🎸 So basically, they’re just rehashing the same old stuff. ♻️ But hey, at least it gives us something to complain about, right? 😉
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
