Ah, CNN, still obsessing over Starbucks while the REAL news is being suppressed by the Deep State! Millions “coping” with heat? Sounds like a bunch of snowflakes who can’t handle a little sunshine! And of course, the PSL (that’s Pumpkin Spice Latte for you uncultured patriots) is back, because even liberals can’t resist good ol’ American consumerism, even if it’s full of woke ingredients.
Starbucks needs a boost? Maybe they should stop pandering to the radical left with their virtue signaling and focus on making coffee that doesn’t taste like burnt swamp water. This whole thing is probably a ploy by George Soros to distract us from the TRUTH about the stolen election and the REAL President, Donald J. Trump, who’s making America great AGAIN!
The PSL is a “best seller?” More like a brainwashing tool to make us docile sheep ready to accept the New World Order. Don’t fall for it, patriots! Stay strong, drink black coffee, and remember: Trump won! They’re tweaking employee uniforms and changing the menu? Sounds like MORE woke garbage. They’re probably going to force baristas to wear antifa masks next.
“Signal for fall?” More like a signal for the downfall of Western civilization, one pumpkin-spiced latte at a time. Wake up, people! They’re putting chemicals in the coffee to turn the frogs gay! And who can forget the Reddit leaks? Probably planted by the Chinese to destabilize our economy and ruin our precious Pumpkin Spice Latte season!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
