Oh no, the world is apparently not ready for DEEP PURPLE to retire just yet 🤯! In a shocking turn of events, bassist Roger Glover has revealed that the hard rock legends have no plans to call it quits, despite being on their “The Long Goodbye” tour for a decade now. I mean, who needs a final tour or a last album when you can just keep on rocking till you literally can’t anymore? 🤘
According to Glover, the idea of a final gig with all the emotional hoopla is just too much to bear. “I can’t imagine doing a final gig, with all the hoopla involved,” he said. “The emotion, the place, the fans, the sorrow, et cetera, it would be too much to bear.” Yeah, because nothing says “rock and roll” like a bunch of old guys crying on stage 🎸.
The Long Goodbye That Never Was
It’s worth noting that guitarist Steve Morse left the band in July 2022 to care for his wife, Janine, who was battling cancer. He has since been replaced by Simon McBride, and the band has been rejuvenated, according to singer Ian Gillan. “The band is hard and mean and hungry at the moment,” Gillan said. “I’ve never felt it so tight.” Okay, Ian, we get it, you’re still rocking, but can you please just tell us when you’re going to stop already? 😂
Gillan also admitted that he’s unsure how much longer he and his bandmates will be able to keep performing live, due to his own health issues. “It’s one of those things,” he said. “I’ve only got 30 percent vision. That won’t get better.” But hey, at least he still has his sense of humor, right? “It’s hilarious this growing old thing,” Gillan said. “Well, sometimes yes and sometimes no.” 🤦♂️
New Album, Who Dis?
Meanwhile, DEEP PURPLE’s new album, “Splat!”, has just dropped, and it’s being hailed as the “heaviest DEEP PURPLE album in many years”. Because, you know, that’s exactly what the world needed – more heavy music from a bunch of old guys 🤘. The album has already received enthusiastic reactions from fans and media, with Uncut calling it “distilled, high-octane PURPLE at its finest”. Okay, we get it, it’s a great album, but can we please just talk about the band’s retirement plans already? 🙄
The band is currently on a major run of European summer dates, with 86 shows across 28 countries. Because, you know, they’re not tired or anything 🏋️♂️. The “Splat!” world tour will also be heading to North America, because why not? 🎉
In conclusion, DEEP PURPLE is never going to retire, and we’re all just going to have to deal with it 😂. So, if you’re looking for a good dose of nostalgia and some old guys rocking out, then you’re in luck! But if you’re looking for a final tour or a last album, then you’re out of luck, because DEEP PURPLE is just going to keep on rocking till they literally can’t anymore 🤘.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
