I just spent the last hour reading about WARRANT drummer Steven Sweet’s health issues, and I’m still trying to process why I voluntarily did that to myself. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s great that he’s opening up about his struggles with prostate cancer and other health problems, but seriously, who doesn’t love a good game of “let’s talk about our medical issues” on a Tuesday afternoon? 🤷♂️ Anyway, Sweet recently sat down with Anthony Bryant of The Hair Metal Guru to discuss his health issues, including a cancer scare back in 2018. Because, you know, that’s exactly what you want to read about when you’re trying to escape the crushing existential dread of everyday life.
According to Sweet, he was diagnosed with prostate cancer, which was “moderately progressive” – you know, just a casual Tuesday afternoon cancer diagnosis. He opted to have it surgically removed, because who doesn’t love a good surgery to spice up their week? When asked about the experience, Sweet said: “When you have your prostate removed as a guy, not that nobody tells you, but it doesn’t really sink in to what that affects in the long run and what that means to you as a guy.” Yeah, no kidding, Steve. I’m sure it’s a real blast to have your prostate removed and then have to learn how to pee all over again. Sounds like a real laugh riot.
But Wait, It Gets Better!
Sweet also talked about how he had to have another spinal fusion surgery two weeks after his prostate removal, because why not, right? And if that wasn’t enough, he’s also dealing with shoulder issues, arthritis, and a hip replacement. I mean, at this point, I’m starting to think that Sweet is just trying to collect all the medical issues like they’re Pokémon or something. “I’ve got a torn bicep tendon, and it’s inoperable! Gotta catch ’em all, folks!” 🎉
But in all seriousness, it’s great that Sweet is being open about his health issues, and it’s a good reminder that even rockstars can have problems. So, the next time you’re at a WARRANT concert and Sweet is up on stage banging away on his drums, just remember: he’s probably in pain, but he’s still rocking out because that’s what rockstars do.
The Important Stuff
On a more serious note, prostate cancer is a real issue that affects many men, and it’s great that Sweet is using his platform to raise awareness. According to the stats, one in seven men will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during their lifetime, which is a pretty sobering thought. But hey, at least WARRANT’s latest album “Louder Harder Faster” is still rocking, right? 🤘
In conclusion, Steven Sweet’s health issues are no joke, but at least he’s still got his sense of humor about it. And who knows, maybe one day he’ll be able to collect all the medical issues and trade them in for a shiny new prostate. Until then, let’s all just take a moment to appreciate the struggles of being a rockstar and the importance of prostate health. 🙏
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
