Oh, sweet irony! 🤣 Neil Druckmann, the guy who brought us the gritty, emotionally-scarring masterpiece that is The Last of Us, now claims he’d sign a petition for a Crash Bandicoot movie. Yeah, because what the world REALLY needs is Crash dealing with existential dread and fungus-infected bandicoots. 🙄 But alas, he can’t do anything because Naughty Dog doesn’t own Crash anymore. They just, you know, CREATED the orange marsupial back in the day. No biggie. 🤷♂️
Druckmann, bless his heart, told Indie Wire that Naughty Dog is powerless in this situation. It’s all up to the big boss man, Phil Spencer, head of Xbox. “Ask HIM to make a Crash Bandicoot film,” he pleaded. “I’ll sign that petition! I’m in full support!” 😂 Yeah, because your signature is REALLY going to sway Microsoft’s decision, Neil. Maybe he should focus on making another Last of Us sequel that divides the fanbase even further. Just a thought. 🤔
Apparently, Hollywood is now obsessed with video game movies, so some people are actually HOPING for a Crash movie. 🤦♂️ Spencer himself said he wants to make more TV shows and movies based on Xbox franchises. Great, more opportunities for beloved games to be butchered on the big screen! 🥳
“We learned from doing Halo. We learned from doing Fallout,” Spencer declared. “And obviously we’ll have a couple that miss.” Oh, you THINK? 🤣 It’s like he’s admitting defeat before they even start. But hey, at least they’re “gaining confidence” while ruining our childhoods. 👍
The Crash video game series had a “semi-revival” recently, but a Crash Bandicoot 5 is apparently not happening. Because who needs a good platformer when you can have endless remakes and reboots? 🤷♀️
But fear not! Microsoft is bringing back Fallout for a second season, and Netflix is producing a Gears of War movie and TV show. Plus, there’s ANOTHER Minecraft movie on the way! 😴 Because that’s what the world is clamoring for: more blocky adventures and chainsaw-bayonet action. 🙄
Meanwhile, Druckmann is busy directing Intergalactic: The Heretic Prophet and working on a SECOND unannounced game at Naughty Dog. So, you know, he’s got his hands full with more important things than a silly Crash Bandicoot movie. Like traumatizing us with more emotionally-charged narratives. 😭
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
