Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because TRON: Ares is coming to theaters to either blow your mind or make you question all your life choices. This standalone sequel to the cinematic masterpiece (debatable) that was Tron: Legacy (2010) – yes, the one with the Daft Punk soundtrack that everyone pretended to understand – is apparently happening. It’s also the THIRD installment, which means someone actually thought this franchise had legs. 🦵🏼 Three legs, maybe?
Walt Disney Pictures, bless their cotton socks, is producing this spectacle. Directed by Joachim Rønning – who, let’s be honest, probably just needed a paycheck – from a screenplay by Jesse Wigutow and Jack Thorne. These are names, people. Names that will either be praised or forgotten, depending on how much glowy CGI can distract from the plot holes. 🕳️
The cast? Oh, the cast. We’ve got Jared Leto, who I can only assume method-acted his way into believing he’s a sentient program. 🙄 Greta Lee is in it too! Evan Peters? Sure, throw him in the mix. Hasan Minhaj is here to probably make fun of the whole thing from the inside. Jodie Turner-Smith? Okay, Disney, I see you trying to get some cred. Arturo Castro, Cameron Monaghan, Gillian Anderson (!!!), Sarah Desjardins, and, last but not least, Jeff Bridges. Because who wouldn’t want to see the Dude back in spandex? 🧘 I mean, come on! This cast list is either a stroke of genius or a sign that Hollywood has officially run out of ideas. 💡
So, what’s it about? Apparently, TRON: Ares follows a “highly sophisticated program” named, you guessed it, Ares. He gets zapped from the digital world into our boring, real world on a “dangerous mission.” Which, if the previous movies are anything to go by, probably involves a lot of neon and philosophical mumbo jumbo. 🗣️ This is humankind’s “first encounter with A.I. beings,” which, frankly, is insulting to all the Roombas who have been plotting our demise for years. 🤖
Mark your calendars, folks! TRON: Ares is due out on 10th October 2025. Get ready for the light cycle battles, the identity discs, and the existential dread that comes with realizing we’re all just lines of code in someone else’s program. 💻
End of line! (Because apparently, that’s still a thing.) 💾
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
