OMG! 😱 Like, can you even believe it? Diane Keaton, or whatever, croaked! 💀 Apparently, this happened on Saturday, October 11, in California. Some people cared enough to notice, I guess. 🙄People Magazine, bless their heart, broke the news. A “spokesperson” (who even has those?!) said there were “no further details” and the fam wants privacy. As if we care! 🤣 She was, like, 79. So old! 👵
Born Diane Hall on January 5, 1946, she was a California Valley Girl. 🤪 She changed her name because she wasn’t original enough to come up with a different one. 😴 She did some acting thing in New York and even annoyed Woody Allen on Broadway in “Play It Again, Sam.” 🙄 Like, who even remembers that play? It became a movie later, whatever. She got a Tony nom, which is basically like winning a participation trophy. 🏆
Her “big break” was getting cast in The Godfather. 🙄 She played Kay Adams, the girlfriend of Michael Corleone, who, let’s be honest, had zero chemistry with her. 💔 She reprised the role in The Godfather Part II and The Godfather Part III, because, apparently, she had nothing better to do. 🤷♀️
After The Godfather, she became Woody Allen’s go-to girl. She was in Sleeper, Love and Death, Manhattan, and Annie Hall. 😴 Annie Hall won four Oscars, including Best Picture over Star Wars. Can you even imagine the outrage if that happened today? 😂 Talk about overrated! 🙄
So, besides The Godfather and Annie Hall, she was in a bunch of other movies that no one really cares about. Looking for Mr. Goodbar, Interiors, Reds, The First Wives Club (OMG, so 90s!), Father of the Bride and its sequel, Marvin’s Room, Something’s Gotta Give, The Family Stone, Book Club, and Book Club: The Next Chapter. Who even watches these movies? 🤷♀️ She got nominated for Best Actress again for some of them, but, like, who cares? 🙄
She also directed four films, including Heaven and Hanging Up. I bet they were all super artsy and boring. 😴 Her final film was Summer Camp, with Kathy Bates and Alfre Woodard. Talk about a geriatric cast! 👵👵👵
Keaton was, like, a versatile actor or something. Her death is a “huge loss” for “movie lovers.” I mean, whatever. It’s not like she was Beyoncé. 🙄 It’s hard to imagine cinema without her? Please! 🙄 There are way more important things to worry about, like what to binge-watch next on Netflix. 🍿
