OMG! 😱 Did you hear the earth-shattering news? Avengers: Endgame, the movie that made you cry harder than when your pet goldfish died, is coming back to theaters! Because, you know, once wasn’t enough to witness Thanos getting his purple butt kicked. Prepare for round two of overpriced popcorn and questionable plot holes! 🍿
Marvel (aka the Mouse House 🐭) announced today that before the *highly* anticipated sequel, Avengers: Doomsday (more on that train wreck later), Endgame is gracing us with its presence again in September 2026. Yes, you read that right. 2026! Mark your calendars, people. It’s not like anything else important will be happening then. 🙄
Avengers: Endgame, which first assaulted our eyeballs back in April 2019, somehow became a “success.” I mean, sure, it made all the money, but did it make sense? Debatable. It’s the climax (or anticlimax, depending on who you ask) of the first 11 years of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Eleven years of our lives wasted on superhero movies! Thanks, Marvel! 👍 To date, it raked in $2.79 billion. It’s only second to Avatar, which proves humanity has terrible taste in movies. 👽
Marvel, in their infinite wisdom, confirmed this re-release with a video on social media. Because, you know, a press release is sooooo last century. Gotta get those TikTok views, am I right? 🤳
It’ll be a whole seven years (a geological epoch in Marvel time) before Endgame‘s sequel, Avengers: Doomsday, crashes into theaters. Originally titled Avengers: The Kang Dynasty (sounds thrilling, doesn’t it?), it was all about Jonathan Majors’ Kang. But since he got the boot 🥾, Marvel panicked and called in the Endgame directors, the Russo Brothers (because apparently, they’re the only ones who know how to point a camera). And get this: they hired Robert Downey Jr. to play Doctor Doom. I’m not kidding. Iron Man is now the bad guy. Because fan service is dead! 💀
Like Endgame, Doomsday will feature every single Marvel character they can get their hands on! Chris Hemsworth, Anthony Mackie, Paul Rudd (still looking 30), Simu Liu, Letitia Wright, Florence Pugh, the Fantastic Four rejects, the Thunderbolts misfits, and even some X-Men who probably regret signing the contract. It’s a superhero stew of epic proportions! 🍲
So, Avengers: Endgame returns on September 25, 2026. And Avengers: Doomsday? December 18, 2026. Get ready to empty your wallets again, Marvel zombies! 🧟♂️
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
