SWEET: Man Arriving In Heaven Discovers Angelic Choir Sounds Exactly Like Trans-Siberian Orchestra
HEAVEN — Upon arriving in Heaven, Ron Darnold was absolutely stoked to discover that the angelic choir greeting him sounded…
Month: December 2024
ABC To Put Running Ticker On All News Shows Saying ‘FOR LEGAL PURPOSES DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING WE SAY’
U.S. — In response to mounting lawsuits over journalistic malpractice, ABC has decided to add a ticker telling viewers that…
Green-Haired James Bond? Barbara Broccoli Battles Amazon’s Bold Vision 💥💀
In what insiders are dubbing «The Battle for Bond», legendary producer Barbara Broccoli reportedly found herself in a shouting match…
Presenting The Babylon Bee Awards For 2024
With only a few days left before the calendar turns to 2025, it’s time to look back and honor some…
Timeline Of Trendy Christmas Toys
Read MoreThe OnionMillions of parents across the U.S. are scrambling to complete their holiday shopping. In honor of the season,…
National Debt Paid Off With The Change In Dan Crenshaw’s Swear Jar
U.S. — President Joe Biden proudly announced Friday that America’s crippling national debt had officially been paid off in full…
HERESY: Church Passes Out LED Candles For ‘Silent Night’
TELLURIDE, CO — Local place of worship The Church of the Shepherd was accused of heresy of the highest order…
‘Elon Is Controlling Trump!’ Complain People Controlling Biden
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Elon Musk’s involvement in this week’s failure by Congress to pass a continuing resolution to fund the…
Adorable: Trump And Musk Debut Matching Christmas Pajamas
PALM BEACH, FL — In yet another sign of their growing bond, President-elect Donald Trump and billionaire entrepreneur Elon Musk…
Dad Gently Informs Daughter He Spent Her College Fund On A Single Little Bacon Cheeseburger At Five Guys
OMAHA, NE — Local father Nathan Michaels called a family meeting Friday afternoon to inform his daughter that she wouldn’t…