Alright, gamers, gather ’round! 11 Bit Studios, those masterminds behind making us all feel terrible about our leadership skills in Frostpunk, have graced us with a modding contest for Frostpunk 2. Yes, you heard that right. They’re letting *us* touch their precious game. What could possibly go wrong? 🤣
So, the contest starts July 11th (mark your calendars, losers!) and ends August 22nd (better get coding, or just copy someone else’s work 😉). The winners, the chosen ones, will be announced on September 1st. And the prizes? Oh, they’re trying to bribe us with cold, hard cash and shiny new GPUs. 10,000 USD? Four AMD Radeon RX 7700 XT GPUs? Is this real life? Or is this just fantasy? Either way, it’s probably rigged. 🤷♂️
They’ve got categories for everything, because apparently some people actually care about “altering resource intake” and “changing the political systems”. Newsflash: we all know the best mods are the ones that add dinosaurs, or turn the snow into sand because realism is overrated. All entries must be uploaded to mod.io, because apparently Nexus Mods isn’t cool enough for these guys. 🤔
Here’s what 11 Bit says they are looking for: “Creativity, playability, and most importantly, fun!” Oh, so now they care about fun? After making us all cry over resource management for years? Typical. They want “new stories and mechanics”, “insane mode”, and to “replace snow with sand”. Dinosaurs and ogres are also apparently welcome. I mean, come on, is this a joke? The Steward would rejoice? The Steward can go kick rocks. 🙄
Here’s a totally unbiased, definitely not sarcastic, breakdown of the prize categories:
- Best Overall Mod | $10,000 USD | For the person who manages to make Frostpunk 2 even more depressing, but in a good way, probably.
- Best City Mechanics Mod | Custom AMD Radeon™ RX 7700 XT 12GB Frostpunk 2 Edition GPU | If you like tweaking numbers and making sure your citizens don’t starve to death, this is the category for you. We won’t judge you for being a try-hard. 😉
- Best Frostland Mechanics Mod | Custom AMD Radeon™ RX 7700 XT 12GB Frostpunk 2 Edition GPU | For those who enjoy exploring new locations, finding settlements, and implementing new ways to exploit resources. You monster. 😈
- Best Graphics Mod | Custom AMD Radeon™ RX 7700 XT 12GB Frostpunk 2 Edition GPU | Turn Frostpunk 2 into Desertpunk or Oceanpunk. Because why not? 🤪
- Best Politics Mod | Custom AMD Radeon™ RX 7700 XT 12GB Frostpunk 2 Edition GPU | If you think you can improve the council hall, factions, or political systems, go ahead and try. We all know politics are a mess anyway. Good luck with that! 🤡
- Honorable Mentions x3 | 11bit Goodie Packs | For the losers who tried their best but weren’t good enough. At least you get some cheap swag. 🤡🤡🤡
Frostpunk 2, set 30 years after the original, was released on PC in 2024. Console releases are “planned” for 2025. We’ll believe it when we see it. The game won Best Sim/Strategy Game at The Game Awards 2024. Because apparently people enjoy torturing themselves. 🤷
Frostpunk 2 is available on PC. Go waste your time and money on it. 💸
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
