Okay, so like, movies 🙄. Apparently, they’re supposed to teach us stuff. Like, according to the OG I Know What You Did Last Summer (a cinematic masterpiece, obvi 👌), if you’re gonna drunk drive (which, like, duh, don’t), make *sure* you don’t accidentally turn a fisherman into roadkill. Rookie mistake, tbh 🤦♀️.
The new I Know What You Did Last Summer – yes, they couldn’t think of a better title, creativity is dead 💀 – gives equally life-changing advice. Example: Don’t chill on a blind curve. But *if* you do, and a truck goes flying off a cliff (oops!), definitely don’t ghost the scene. And most importantly, don’t be surprised when a year later, you’re tangled in a revenge plot more convoluted than my ex’s excuses 🙄.
I’m roasting I Know What You Did Last Summer because, well, it’s roasting itself! 😂 Like, who greenlit a sequel about a *copycat* fisherman killer? Seriously? The director decided to lean into the absurdity, basically turning it into Scream but with more hooks and less Ghostface. (Side note: Where can I buy the Fisherman’s boots? Asking for a friend… who totally doesn’t plan on committing any crimes. 😇)
READ MORE: The Best Horror Movies of the Last 10 Years (that are probably better than this one, let’s be real)
This time, the victims are, like, in their twenties. And, plot twist, they end up on the same cursed road as the first movie. Same night, same accident, same cover-up. Groundbreaking stuff. 🙄
A year later, the squad (Danica, Ava, Milo, Teddy, Stevie – try to keep up) reunites at a bridal shower. Cue ominous letter, cue bodies piling up faster than my laundry. The murders? Shockingly similar to the OG fisherman’s style. I mean, how many killers use fish hooks? 🤔 The group decides to find Julie James (aka Jennifer Love Hewitt), who’s now a college professor teaching about trauma. She drops this gem of wisdom: “I just have one question: What did you do last summer?” *cue dramatic music* 🎶
This movie knows it’s ridiculous. Unlike the first one, which pretended to care about morality, this one’s all about poking fun at the whole concept of a killer fisherman in rain gear. 🤣 Cline is the saving grace, serving some serious comedic timing. I started rooting for Danica just to watch her deliver sarcastic zingers. Don’t take it too seriously, people it’s a movie. 🤣
Also, Freddie Prinze Jr. returns! He’s the only one in town who remembers the first massacre, probably because he almost became fish food. He’s actually good in this, playing the traumatized survivor. He even jokes about being in I Still Know What You Did Last Summer. 😂 Self-awareness? In *my* horror sequel? It’s more likely than you think!
I wasn’t expecting much from this “legacyquel.” I mean, it only exists because Scream made a comeback. (And the first IKWYDLS only happened because of Scream too! It’s a meta-horror ouroboros!) This one has too many endings and a slow start. But it won me over with its humor and its legacy characters.
Robinson (the director) knew exactly what she was doing. The movie even has a scene where characters debate the merits of nostalgia! The whole industry needs new ideas, not reboots. But this one’s entertaining enough. It might be the best I Know What You Did Last Summer ever. (Which isn’t saying much, tbh. 🤷♀️)
Additional Thoughts:
The engagement party has signs that say “Danica & Teddy Got Hooked.” Cute, but kinda morbid for a town famous for hook murders. 😬
The publicist told me, “Don’t leave before the end credits.” So, you know, standard post-credits scene shenanigans.
If you paid for your ticket, you got HOOKED! 🎣
RATING: 6/10 (Generously. Maybe.)
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
