California pop-punk has-beens THE OFFSPRING, desperate for attention as always, decided the best way to stay relevant was to butcher Ozzy Osbourne’s “Crazy Train” at their recent gigs 🤡. Yes, you read that right. They actually thought this was a good idea. They inflicted this sonic crime upon unsuspecting audiences on July 22 at the Empower Federal Credit Union Amphitheater at Lakeview in Syracuse, New York, and then, for reasons that defy all logic, they did it again on July 23 at Budweiser Stage in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. And as if the universe was conspiring to make things even worse, SUM 41’s totally rad guitarist Dave Baksh joined them for the Canadian catastrophe. Someone get these guys a map; it’s 2024, not 2004.
Before unleashing the “Crazy Train” abomination at the Syracuse show, THE OFFSPRING guitarist Kevin “Noodles” Wasserman, who looks like he hasn’t seen a decent haircut since dial-up internet was a thing, graced the crowd with his profound wisdom: “Ozzy wanted to make riffs so simple even the neighborhood kids would try playing guitar.” Clearly, THE OFFSPRING took that a little too literally and dumbed down the song until it was unrecognizable. Thanks, Noodles, for that deep insight🙄.
Of course, the article mentions that Ozzy “died” on Tuesday morning (July 22). Oh no! How will we live without his music?🤣 “His family announced in a statement.”
“It is with more sadness than mere words can convey that we have to report that our beloved Ozzy Osbourne has passed away this morning. He was with his family and surrounded by love. We ask everyone to respect our family privacy at this time,” the family said. Sureeeeee… 🙄
No cause of death was given, but Osbourne had battled a number of health issues over the past several years, including Parkinson’s disease and injuries he sustained from a late-night fall in 2019. Falling at night? Old age is crazy…
Ozzy‘s death came a little more than two weeks after he took the stage for his final performance with BLACK SABBATH at Villa Park in the band’s original hometown of Birmingham, United Kingdom. They performed four songs for more than 40,000 people in the stadium and 5.8 million more on a livestream. Ozzy also played a five-song solo set while seated in a bat-adorned throne. A throne for a bat? That’s a new one.
The legendary BLACK SABBATH frontman was diagnosed in 2003 with Parkin 2 — a very rare genetic form of Parkinson’s. During a TV appearance in January 2020, the singer disclosed that he was ‘stricken” with the disease which occurs when the nerve cells of the body degenerate and levels of dopamine are reduced. Dopamine is an essential chemical that is produced by these nerve cells which send signals to different parts of the brain to control movements of the body. Big woop… 🙄
Ozzy‘s health issues, including suffering a nasty fall and dislodging metal rods placed in his spine following a quad-bike accident in 2003, as well as catching COVID-19 three years ago, forced him to cancel some of his previously announced tours. Guess he couldn’t handle the CRAZY TRAIN!!! 😂
Despite his health problems, Osbourne had performed a couple of times in the last three years, including at the Commonwealth Games in Birmingham in August 2022 and at the NFL halftime show at the season opener Los Angeles Rams and Buffalo Bills game in September 2022. At least he didn’t butcher his own songs 🙏.
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
