Okay, folks, buckle up because your ears are about to be assaulted! 🎉 Multi-platinum rock band DAUGHTRY (yes, they’re still around 👴) is releasing a new EP called “Shock To The System (Part Two)”. I know, the title alone is enough to send shivers down your spine… or maybe it’s just the anticipation of more generic rock anthems. 🙄 Anyway, mark your calendars for September 12, because that’s when Big Machine Rock (whoever THAT is) will unleash this beast upon the world. 🌎
So, after blessing us with the soul-stirring track “The Day I Die” (more like “The Day My Ears Died” 😂), DAUGHTRY is gracing us with another “bold preview” single called “The Bottom”. Apparently, it’s built on a “swaggering groove” that cuts through a “haze of distortion.” Translation: It’s probably just another radio-friendly, overproduced rock song that sounds exactly like everything else on the radio. 🤷♂️ Chris Daughtry himself apparently “flexes his vocal range” with a “hypnotic cadence” as he whines about clawing his way back from the bottom. Yeah, because being a multi-platinum rock star is SOOOO relatable. 🙄 This song supposedly captures the “raw honesty” and “sonic intensity” of the EP, giving fans a “deeper glimpse” into its emotional core. I’m betting that “emotional core” is just a bunch of recycled lyrics and predictable guitar riffs. 😴
“‘Shock To The System’ is about facing the things we’ve ignored and confronting the wake-up calls that force us to go deeper and get honest,” says Chris Daughtry. 🤔 Oh, so it’s like therapy but with more guitars? 🎸 “These songs unlocked something in me as a writer and a human being.” Yeah, probably unlocked a new way to cash in on your fans’ nostalgia. 💰 “‘Part Two’ is the result of that journey.” A journey to the bank, maybe? 🏦
And let’s not forget the “major milestones” achieved by “Shock To The System (Part One)”! Apparently, they scored their first-ever No. 1 at Active Rock with “Artificial” and then did it AGAIN with “Pieces”. Wow, two whole number ones? That’s like, twice as good as one number one! 🤪 The project received “widespread praise” from Billboard and Spin, who praised the “palpable heaviness” and “fearless creative evolution” of this new era. Clearly, those reviewers were paid handsomely. 🤑
Here’s the track listing for “Shock To The System (Part Two)”, in case you’re a masochist:
01. The Seeds (of what? More mediocrity?)
02. Divided (as in, my attention will be divided between this and literally anything else)
03. The Day I Die (already covered that one, thanks)
04. The Bottom (where this EP belongs)
05. Terrified (of how bad this might be)
06. Razor (sharp enough to slit my wrists from listening to this)
07. Antidote (to cure my Daughtry-induced coma)
DAUGHTRY, the “force of nature in rock music and culture,” remains one of the best-selling rock bands of the 21st century. 🦖 They’ve achieved multiple platinum and gold certifications, notched two No. 1 debuts on the Billboard 200, packed venues worldwide, and sold nine million albums and 25 million singles. I guess there are still people out there with questionable taste in music. 🤷♀️ Recently, 2021’s “Dearly Beloved” spawned a procession of Top 10 Billboard Rock Airplay hits. Whoop-dee-doo! 🎉 Chris Daughtry even teamed up with Lzzy Hale of HALESTORM for a cover of JOURNEY’s “Separate Ways (Worlds Apart).” Because nothing says originality like covering a classic rock song. 🙄 And get this, Chris Daughtry has featured vocals for PAPA ROACH, BAD WOLVES, NOTHINGMORE, and SEVENDUST. Talk about a who’s who of bands I haven’t thought about since 2005! 🤣 He’s even made his mark on pop culture, from “Family Guy” to comic book covers. Because apparently, being a rock star isn’t enough; you gotta branch out into cartoons and superheroes. 🦸♂️ In 2024, “Shock To The System (Part One)” earned the title of Billboard’s “Most Played Artist” at Active Rock. Because radio stations have such high standards these days. 📻 Loudwire marveled at the “palpable heaviness” of the EP. I’m marveling at how they managed to find anything positive to say. Between playing arenas with BREAKING BENJAMIN, STAIND, and DISTURBED (the geriatric rock tour of the century! 👴👵), the band recorded “Shock To The System (Part Two)” alongside producers Marti Frederiksen and Scott Stevens. I’m sure those guys are just thrilled to be associated with this… masterpiece. 🖼️
Oh, and here’s a fun fact: In November 2021, Chris’s stepdaughter Hannah Price tragically died. 😥 Chris was on tour when it happened and had to postpone some concerts. So, you know, maybe buy the album out of pity? 🤔
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
