Before the world ends in a blaze of glory with Avengers: Doomsday, Disney+ is giving fans one last chance to indulge in some superhero action with VisionQuest, the long-awaited TV spinoff from Marvel’s WandaVision. Because what’s a cinematic universe without a few dozen tangential shows, right? The new series will finally answer the burning question on everyone’s mind: what’s been up with Paul Bettany’s character, the white Vision, for the past five years? And, more importantly, why is he hanging out with James Spader’s Ultron now? It’s not like they’re trying to squeeze every last drop of nostalgia out of the MCU or anything.
The show will premiere on Disney+ in October, because of course it will. That’s also when we can expect a slew of other spooky season content, including the return of American Horror Story and the streaming debut of the horror film Soulm8te, a spinoff of the M3GAN franchise because we clearly haven’t reached peak franchise fatigue yet. And if you’re feeling nostalgic for the good old days of network TV, Disney+ has got you covered with new Halloween episodes of shows like Big City Greens.
The Never-Ending Content Machine
As the streaming wars continue to rage on, it’s clear that the real winner is the consumer – or at least, that’s what the executives keep telling us. With the sheer amount of content being churned out, it’s a miracle anything actually gets made. But hey, who needs quality control when you’ve got algorithms and focus groups to tell you what people want? Somewhere, a whiteboard is filled with the words “bigger,” “darker,” and “multiverse,” and a room full of suits is nodding in agreement.
The rest of October’s offerings on Disney+ and Hulu include a mix of new shows, movies, and sports content. Because what’s a streaming service without a healthy dose of live sports to convince people to keep their subscriptions? The highlights include the premiere of Adventure Time: Side Quests, Coven Academy, and Tokyo Revengers: War of the Three Titans Arc, as well as new episodes of FX’s American Horror Story: 13 and Dancing with the Stars. And if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the sheer amount of choices, don’t worry – the algorithms will tell you what to watch.
The Merchandising Opportunities Are Endless
As the entertainment industry continues to evolve, one thing remains constant: the pursuit of profit. With every new show and movie comes a plethora of merchandising opportunities, because what’s a franchise without a few dozen action figures and T-shirts to go along with it? The Merchandising Department is no doubt working overtime to come up with creative ways to separate fans from their hard-earned cash. And hey, who needs original ideas when you can just reboot something from the 80s and call it a day?
In the end, it’s all just a big game of Hollywood roulette – spin the wheel, and see what sticks. Will VisionQuest be the next big hit, or will it fade into obscurity like so many other shows before it? Only time (and the algorithms) will tell. But one thing’s for sure: the Content Mines will continue to churn out content, and we’ll continue to eat it up like the good little consumers we are. So, go ahead and grab some popcorn, sit back, and enjoy the never-ending spectacle that is the entertainment industry. Just don’t forget to buy the merchandise.
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
⚖️ ENTER THE LEGALIZER
Think the government has no idea what it's doing? Put your case before the Federal Case Terminal and find out.
