OMG! 😱 Guess who’s crawling out of their hidey-holes and gracing Europe with their presence? None other than A PERFECT CIRCLE, led by the enigmatic Maynard James Keenan (aka, the dude who sometimes remembers he’s in this band) and Billy Howerdel (aka, the other dude). Get ready for a nostalgia trip because they haven’t bothered to cross the pond since, like, 2018. Did anyone even notice? 🤷♀️
Word on the street (aka, a press release) is that they’ll be “headlining” some dates, including two whole nights at London’s O2 Academy Brixton (hope they remember the lyrics by then 🤞) and a gig at Berlin’s Zitadelle (sounds fancy!). This comes after a bunch of festival announcements because, let’s be real, who’s gonna pay full price to see them otherwise? Copenhell, Rock Im Park, Rock Am Ring, and Nova Rock – mark your calendars if you’re into that sort of thing. 🗓️
“To our European friends,” Billy Howerdel bleats. “We miss you. It’s been far too long… like seven years too long. We found a solution.” Translation: “Our bank accounts are looking a little anemic, so time to milk the European fans again! 💰”
Tickets go on sale this Friday, October 31 at 10 a.m. local time. (Yes, Halloween 🎃). There’s also an “artist pre-sale” (code: ELEPHANT 🐘…because subtlety is for losers). The Stockholm show is part of a season subscription series, because apparently Swedes are *really* desperate for live music. 🇸🇪
Here’s the full list of dates, in case you’re a glutton for punishment:
June 03 – London, UK @ O2 Academy Brixton (Round 1! Ding ding!)
June 04 – London, UK @ O2 Academy Brixton (Round 2! Do they change the setlist?)
June 06 – Nürnberg, DE @ Rock Im Park (Park rock? Is that even a genre?)
June 07 – Nürburg, DE @ Rock Am Ring (More rock! More rings! What does it all mean? 💍)
June 09 – München, DE @ Zenith (Reaching for the Zenith of mediocrity!)
June 10 – Warszawa, PL @ Torwar (Sounds like a Star Wars character 🚀)
June 12 – Wien, AT @ Nova Rock Festival (Rock! Nova! New! …ish.)
June 13 – Ferrara, IT @ Ferrara Summer Festival (Summer! Italy! Maybe they’ll get some sun ☀️)
June 15 – Budapest, HU @ Budapest Park (Another park! Are they sponsored by parks?)
June 16 – Zagreb, HR @ SRC Šalata (Gesundheit! 🤧)
June 18 – Zürich, CH @ Halle622 (Hall 622! Spooky! 👻)
June 21 – Düsseldorf, DE @ Mitsubishi Hall (Sponsored by cars 🚗. Fitting.)
June 24 – Amsterdam, NL @ AFAS Live (AFAS? Is that even a word? 🤪)
June 26 – København, DK @ Copenhell (Hell yeah! 🔥 …wait, no.)
June 28 – Stockholm, SE @ Gröna Lund (More Swedish desperation!)
July 01 – Berlin, DE @ Zitadelle (Zitadelle! Sounds like a fancy German dessert 🍰)
July 02 – Praha, CZ @ Forum Karlín (Czech it out! …I’ll see myself out.)
July 04 – Esch-sur-Alzette, LU @ Rockhal (Luxembourg rocks! …apparently.)
So, apparently A PERFECT CIRCLE was formed in 1999 by Billy Howerdel and Maynard James Keenan. They’ve released four albums (FOUR!), including “Mer De Noms” (2000), which they’re still milking for all it’s worth. It was, like, a big deal at the time, but let’s be honest, who remembers it? They also released “Thirteenth Step” (2003), “eMOTIVe” (2004) (because capitalizing random letters is SO edgy), and “Eat The Elephant” (2018) (which debuted at #3 on the Billboard charts because…reasons?). 🐘
Apparently, A PERFECT CIRCLE has also “headlined” festivals and “sold out” venues like the Hollywood Bowl, Madison Square Garden, and the Red Rocks Amphitheatre. They’ve even been on late-night TV! Wow! Groundbreaking! 🙄 I bet Maynard just *loved* doing those interviews. 😂
