Hold onto your hairspray and dust off that old Spandex, because the 80s hair metal ghost-riding train just left the station again, and this time, it’s brought a lawyers’ convention worth of band members. 🤘😂 ONCE BITTEN, a supergroup so super it requires a Venn diagram to figure out who actually plays what, has officially dropped their animated music video for “Rockin’ Like The 80’s,” and let’s just say the title isn’t exactly subtle. 🎸
Let’s break this down for the SEO bots crawling this page faster than a roadie looking for free beer: We’ve got Tony Montana, the bassist who held down the fort during GREAT WHITE’s multi-platinum “Once Bitten… Twice Shy” era, shaking the dust off his fretboard. We’ve got Andrew Freeman, the vocal powerhouse stepping into some massive shoes, probably requiring a stepladder and a shot of tequila to reach those high notes. And because this is the rock ‘n’ roll version of a custody battle, we also have Robby Lochner, Dan McNay, and Ken Mary—the skeleton crew from JACK RUSSELL’S GREAT WHITE who clearly missed the memo that the tour bus retired. 🚌💨
The band claims they are staying “true to the legendary GREAT WHITE sound,” which is music industry code for “we are playing the exact same riffs, just with different guys and a drummer who can still feel his legs.” With the passing of the iconic Jack Russell, ONCE BITTEN claims to be opening a “new chapter,” but let’s be real: this is less of a new chapter and more like finding a crumpled photocopied page of a rock manual in a dumpster behind the Rainbow Room. 🌈
According to Montana, this track is a “full-on celebration of the ’80s vibe.” He says playing it makes you feel that “young-band spark again — reckless, raw, and alive.” It’s also likely a desperate plea to remember where you parked the tour bus, but hey, semantics! 🤷♂️ “This track hits hard in the live set alongside the old hits,” Montana claims, which is a polite way of saying, “Please come see us so we can pay our storage unit fees.”
Freeman, the guy who has the unenviable job of singing songs that defined a generation while not being the guy who originally sang them, adds his two cents: “We’re not here to replace it, we’re here to honor it.” 🕊️ Sure, Jan. “Rockin’ Like The 80s” is apparently a “modern twist” on the era, which usually means the guitar solo is slightly faster, and the drummer has better health insurance. He claims it’s about carrying the spirit forward, which sounds suspiciously like “carrying the gear up the stairs because the venue elevator is broken.”
The new single is supposedly sliding seamlessly alongside GREAT WHITE staples like “Rock Me”, “House Of Broken Love”, and the timeless “Once Bitten, Twice Shy”. Seamless? Really? Or does it sound like you put a playlist on shuffle and forgot to turn off the crossfade? 🎛️ Regardless, the SEO keywords are flowing like cheap whiskey: Great White, Once Bitten, 80s rock, hair metal, new music video. Eat your heart out, Google algorithms.
In a statement that screams “we have a publicist who really wants this to trend,” the band called the song an “open letter of thanks” to fans who have stuck around through the lineup changes, the lawsuits, and the general chaos of legacy rock bands. “From running band pages, to spreading the word, to showing up at shows — you’ve been part of the journey,” they gush. 💌 Translation: “Thanks for buying the merch so we don’t have to get real jobs.”
Freeman, in a video update that probably had terrible lighting and weird audio levels, gushed about Tony Montana. “Tony wrote this awesome song… it’s brilliant. Tony wrote the whole thing, and it’s brilliant.” 🧠 Is he trying to manifest a Grammy? He even gave an “honorable mention” to Robby Lochner for doing “something on it as far as writing is concerned.” Something? That’s the kind of specific credit that starts backstage fistfights. “Hey, I played the E chord in the bridge!” “NO, I PLAYED THE E CHORD!”
When asked about the future, Andrew dropped the truth bomb: “ONCE BITTEN is JACK RUSSELL’S GREAT WHITE with me singing.” 🎤 He basically admits they are the same guys, just swapping out the vocals like a mechanic swaps a spark plug. “The guys that played with Jack all those years are in the band… they don’t wanna stop playing, and I don’t blame ’em. So we’re making music, ’cause that’s what we do.”
Let’s pause for a moment of silence for the brand name confusion. 🤐 Andrew admits they “weren’t blessed with a brand name where we could just go out and do whatever we want.” But then he pivots with the confidence of a man wearing leopard print pants in 2024: “But we can do whatever we want, and we are.” That’s the spirit! Who needs legal clearance when you have vibes? 🤘
Now, for a quick history lesson served with a side of tragedy and sarcasm, because rock ‘n’ roll isn’t always pretty. Tony Montana joined GREAT WHITE during the “Once Bitten…” tour, which was basically the peak of their “let’s wear makeup and pose” era. After a hiatus (probably sleeping), he reunited with Jack Russell in JACK RUSSELL’S GREAT WHITE, initially on bass and then guitar, because why not switch instruments mid-career? 🎸🎸
We have to address the elephant in the room (or rather, the fire): Jack Russell’s passing in August 2024 was preceded by a diagnosis of Lewy body dementia, a cruel condition. However, rock history buffs will never forget the 2003 Station nightclub fire in Rhode Island, where pyrotechnics during a JACK RUSSELL’S GREAT WHITE show killed 100 people. 🔥 It was a horrific event that permanently tarnished the band’s legacy. At the time, Mark Kendall (the actual founder of GREAT WHITE) was actually on that tour, asked to join Russell to boost ticket sales. It’s a dark chapter, and mentioning “Rockin’ Like The 80’s” alongside it feels like whiplash.
The drama didn’t stop there. Russell left the original GREAT WHITE in 2011 due to a perforated bowel and shattered pelvis, blaming booze, pills, and prednisone. 💊 Then came the lawsuits! 2012: Russell sued the band for using the name. 2013: Kendall and the boys countersued, claiming Jack’s “self-destructive behavior” was trashing the brand (and undercutting ticket prices). It was settled out of court, splitting the GREAT WHITE franchise into two warring factions like a bad reality TV show. 📺
So, here we are. ONCE BITTEN is basically the Kendall crew (minus Kendall, ironically) with a new vocalist, playing the hits and trying not to get sued. 🤨 They are “Rockin’ Like The 80’s” in an era where rock is mostly dead, and the biggest threat isn’t record execs, it’s arthritis.
In conclusion, if you want to hear a song that sounds exactly like GREAT WHITE but isn’t technically GREAT WHITE, featuring a guy who used to be in GREAT WHITE and another guy who used to be in GREAT WHITE but now they are ONCE BITTEN, check out the video below. 🐍
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
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