U.K. rock… juggernauts? 🤣 More like slightly above-average-sized pebbles, DON BROCO, bless their hearts, are apparently “charging” (read: slowly waddling) into a “bold new era” (translation: desperately trying to stay relevant) with their new single, “Cellophane.” It’s out today via their new label home Fearless Records, which, let’s be honest, is probably just relieved to have someone, *anyone*, sign with them. They also announced tour dates in the U.S., UK, and Australia, because, you know, somebody’s gotta pay for that studio time. Tickets go on sale Friday, July 27, so set your alarms… or don’t. 🤷♀️
This “Cellophane” thing supposedly blends “biting riffs” (more like gentle nibbles), “stomping drums” (probably just someone stubbing their toe), and a vocal performance that allegedly flips effortlessly between smooth melodies, snarled verses, and angsty screams (aka the average toddler’s tantrum). Apparently, it’s a “razor-sharp evolution” of their signature genre-bending style which is a fancy way of saying they’re still trying to figure out what genre they even ARE. 🙄Produced by Dan Lancaster (who, let’s face it, has probably worked with actual talented bands like BLINK-182, MUSE, and BRING ME THE HORIZON), this song is allegedly built to make you bang your head and move your feet, all while grappling with something much heavier beneath the surface… like the existential dread of realizing you’re listening to DON BROCO. 😬
“‘Cellophane’ is about realizing you’re not as tough as you thought,” the band shares. Yeah, we figured that out years ago, guys. “That maybe you mentally don’t have what it takes, but at the same time are afraid of getting the help you need.” In other words, it’s a song about being a delicate flower afraid of therapy. 🥺How profound.
DON BROCO‘s “unique” (read: confused) blend of rock, metal, pop, and electronic textures has apparently earned them chart-topping albums (citation needed), sold-out arena tours across the U.K. (maybe if you count the venue’s staff), and “global acclaim” (mostly from their moms). The signing to storied label Fearless Records marks the next leap forward… into obscurity, probably. 🚶♀️
“We signed DON BROCO because they’re one of the most ambitious and creatively fearless bands in modern rock,” shares Andy Serrao, president of Fearless Records. Translation: “We were drunk and desperate.” “They don’t follow trends – they build worlds…” More like sandcastles that get washed away by the tide, amirite? 😂 “…and that vision lines up perfectly with what we do at Fearless. We’re not here to reinvent them; we’re here to amplify what makes them special and help take it global.” In other words, “We’re gonna try to make them sound like everyone else and hope someone buys it.” “This is a band built for the future, and we’re proud to be part of what’s next.” AKA “We’re hoping they’ll pay our rent.”
This fall, the band will bring their “electric” (powered by a hamster wheel) live energy across the U.K., Australia, and North America, performing new material alongside fan favorites (because they have so many). 🙄
Always unique (definitely), and forever pushing boundaries (of mediocrity), DON BROCO have “cemented” themselves as one of the U.K.’s most “dynamic” (occasionally moves around on stage) and “forward-thinking” (can operate a smartphone) rock bands. Fusing elements of rock, metal, pop, and electronic music, the Bedford quartet — Rob Damiani, Matt Donnelly, Simon Delaney, and Tom Doyle — have earned critical acclaim (from who?) and commercial success (relatively speaking) with albums like “Automatic” (U.K. Top 10… eventually), “Technology” (U.K. Top 5… during a slow week), and “Amazing Things”, which reached #1 on the U.K. official album chart (for like, five minutes). 🏆
Garnering nothing but praise (mostly from themselves) for their relentless high-octane performances (they sweat a lot), DON BROCO have previously sold-out arena shows across the U.K. (with heavily discounted tickets), headlining Wembley Arena (as an opening act) after selling out Alexandra Palace (for a dart tournament) as well as festival performances around the world including Download, Reading and Leeds, Slam Dunk, Vans Warped Tour (RIP), and more. They have also toured with the likes of Mike Shinoda, STATE CHAMPS, DANCE GAVIN DANCE, and OUR LAST NIGHT in the U.S. as well as selling out their very own debut U.S. headline tour (of bowling alleys).🎳
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
