Oh boy, another one bites the dust! Bonfire Studios, bless their cotton socks, is unleashing Arkheron upon us, a PvP extravaganza where 15 teams duke it out to reach the top of a tower. Sounds original, right? 🤔 Using items called “Relics,” which probably glow and do that ✨thing✨, these brave souls will strategize (lol) and “determine” their way to victory. Prepare for the lag, the glitches, and the inevitable rage quits! 🤣
Following its groundbreaking, never-before-seen tease in January 2025, Bonfire Studios (who?) has dropped some earth-shattering details about their debut title, Arkheron. Set in a tower… because apparently, originality is overrated. Players will battle to reach the top, because climbing is always fun, especially when other players are trying to shank you with their relics (whatever those are). Coming soon to PC, Xbox Series X|S, and PS5 – because they want EVERYONE to suffer – this asymmetrical PvP experience (someone please explain what that even means) involves 15 teams of three (why three?) embarking on a challenge (more like a chore) to collect Relics (still don’t know what they are), battle other teams (yay, toxicity!), claim a Beacon to escape the Abyssal Storm (sounds like my last bathroom trip), and many more tedious tasks designed to waste your precious free time. 🙄
With a whopping 17 years of experience working at Blizzard Entertainment (oh no…), Rob Pardo founded Bonfire Studios in 2016. Apparently, he learned nothing from the dumpster fire that Blizzard has become. Entering the gaming world with an “ambitious” idea (read: delusional), the team focuses on building a “fun and rewarding” gameplay experience (citation needed), crafting a “unique” world (towers, relics, got it), and promoting “welcoming” communities (prepare for the slurs). 😇
Taking place in a tower (still on about the tower?) shrouded in mystery and rich lore (doubt), Arkheron is a battle royale with a twist (the twist is it’s boring). Its core game mode, Ascension Royale (sounds pretentious), features 15 teams of three (still three?) spawning in various locations to collect relics with special abilities from treasure chests (loot boxes, here we come!), slay monsters (because that’s not cliché at all) and rival players (more toxicity!), and complete quests (fetch quests galore!). With these “powerful” relics (I bet they’re just reskinned swords), players must reach limited beacons to escape the Abyssal Storm (still sounds like a bathroom emergency) and ascend (to gaming heaven? Unlikely). If contested, a team must eliminate its opponents to progress to the next floor (sounds like a crowded elevator).
As teams climb higher in the tower (are we there yet?), each floor becomes harder with fewer beacons (less escape) and more eliminations (more rage). In the final round, the two surviving teams (the ones who didn’t quit) face off at the top of the tower (finally!) to be crowned the winners of the match (and receive a pat on the back and crippling disappointment). 🏆
One of the core mechanics of Arkheron gameplay is the Relics system (they’re back!), as they are the “heroes” of the game (more like the scapegoats when you lose). In each match, players will have four item slots to build their character (because customization is king). These slots include a crown (for the king of noobs), an amulet (for extra luck), and two weapons (for maximum carnage). Each of the items wields a “special” ability (like making your character trip over their own feet), ranging from piercing an enemy with a sword (groundbreaking!) to unleashing ice projectiles from the slam of your hammer (because physics). With the various items available (mostly useless), players will have the opportunity to mix and match their build to suit their playstyle (aka button mashing). 😵💫
In addition to mixing and matching their build (like a digital fashion show), some of the Relics will be part of an item set (gotta catch ’em all!). If a player has at least two of the set, they will receive a set bonus (probably something lame). However, if a player collected all four of the sets (good luck with that), they will have the chance to transform into an Eternal (sounds ominous), the inhabitants of the Tower (plot twist!), and unlock a fifth ability based on the sets collected (probably overpowered), lasting for the remainder of the match (until you die).
Stepping into Arkheron, players will have three modes to choose from (because choices are always a good thing, right?). The modes included are:
Ascension Royale Mode – The core game mode for 15 teams of three (still stuck on three) to battle to the top of the Tower (the never-ending tower).
Training Mode – A separate dungeon area for players to test various Relics (the things we still don’t understand) and find the perfect build (for optimal failure). In addition to mixing and matching the Relics, players can practice their skills against a training dummy (who probably has better skills than them) or against other players in the sparring room (prepare for the teabagging). Supporting up to six players, the sparring room features 1v1, 2v2, 3v3, and more (because variety is the spice of life).
Practice With Bots – For new players to learn the Ascension Royale Mode against bots (who will probably still beat them). 🤖
Before wrapping up, PC players will have the opportunity to playtest Arkheron on Steam from September 19 to 21 (mark your calendars, folks!). The playtest will be available in North America, Europe, Australia/New Zealand, and Korea/Japan through their partners at DRIMAGE (who?).
Quite an “exciting” update regarding Bonfire Studios’ upcoming title, Arkheron (I’m being sarcastic, BTW). To learn more about the game or studios, players can visit the Bonfire Studios website (if you’re feeling particularly masochistic) and sign up for the playtest on Steam from September 19 to 21 (don’t say I didn’t warn you). 😈
Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines.
Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations.
Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
