So, like, VOIVOD, those Canadian metal dudes who peaked sometime last century, are still trying to be relevant. Get this: they’re making a VIDEO GAME. Yes, a video game. Because nothing says “cutting edge metal” like 8-bit graphics and midi music 🤣. Chaosmonger Studio, probably named by a 14-year-old, is helping them out. Prototype Trailer V2? Sounds thrilling! Prepare for “Voivod: The Nuclear Warrior”, the official game where you can experience the thrilling blend of… sci-fi, metal, and that feeling you get when you accidentally step on a LEGO.
They had a Kickstarter that was 265% funded, which means either they have really gullible fans or they bought a ton of fake accounts. The trailer shows off a world that’s “desolate” and “post-apocalyptic.” You know, like every other indie game ever made. Hand-crafted pixel art? So retro! So original! NOT. 🙄 And the soundtrack is, like, totally inspired by VOIVOD, which means it probably sounds like a cat fighting a blender.
“Our goal is to make a game that feels like stepping inside a VOIVOD album cover,” says Nicola Piovesan. Sure, Nicola. That’s what everyone wants. To feel trapped inside a poorly drawn alien landscape while someone screams in your ear. “It’s both a tribute and a continuation of their legacy.” More like a desperate attempt to remind people they still exist. 🤡
The band members are “central to the process,” because who else would QA test this monstrosity? Michel Langevin (Away) does the art direction, which explains why it looks like something drawn on a Trapper Keeper in 1987. Daniel Mongrain (Chewy) adapts the music, probably by slowing it down and adding more distortion. Denis Bélanger (Snake) voices the protagonist, so get ready for some incoherent growling. And Dominic Laroche (Rocky) provides “gameplay feedback,” which probably involves asking, “Why are we doing this?” 🤔
The result is a “unique creative synthesis,” or as normal people call it, a hot mess. A “metal-infused interactive experience” that combines “classic run-and-gun gameplay” (because originality is for losers) with “exploration and atmosphere” (aka walking slowly through empty corridors). You get to play as the Voivod himself, a “mutant warrior” guided by his “disembodied mind, Nothingface.” Okay, guys, I think you’ve been smoking too much of something. 👽
“Voivod: The Nuclear Warrior” is coming to PC and consoles in 2026. So, set your calendars and prepare to be mildly entertained for about 15 minutes before realizing you have better things to do, like watching paint dry. You can wishlist it on Steam, which means absolutely nothing. And follow its progress on social media, because who doesn’t love constant updates on a game that’s three years away from release? 📅
VOIVOD is a Canadian heavy metal band from Jonquière, Québec. (Where?!) They’ve changed their style a million times, but they’re still somehow considered one of the “big four” Canadian thrash bands. Which is like being one of the “big four” bands from Liechtenstein. 🙄 They’re also considered “influential,” which is what people say when they can’t think of anything nice to say.
VOIVOD had “mainstream success” in 1989 with “Nothingface”, which peaked at number 114 on the Billboard 200. Congrats, guys! You almost made it! 🙌
VOIVOD‘s documentary, “We Are Connected”, premiered in Montreal in July 2024. I’m sure it’s a riveting tale of perseverance, artistic integrity, and questionable fashion choices. 🍿
VOIVOD is touring in support of “Morgöth Tales”. Go see them if you enjoy listening to music from the 80s performed by guys who are old enough to be your grandpa.👵
Their 2022 album, “Synchro Anarchy”, won a Juno Award. So, they’ve got that going for them, which is nice. 👍
“Morgöth Tales” includes re-recordings of old songs and a new song. Because who needs new ideas when you can just recycle the old ones? ♻️
Photo credit: Catherine Deslauriers (probably a saint for having to photograph these guys). 🙏
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
