So, the geriatric thrash metal “legends” 👴 SLAYER, fresh from their crypts, decided to grace us with their presence for a whopping *second* full show of 2025. And guess where? The UK 🇬🇧, because apparently, the Queen 👑 loves a bit of “Raining Blood” before tea time. They played at Finsbury Park in London, which holds a modest 45,000 people – because nothing says “intimate gig” like a crowd the size of a small city. Supporting acts included AMON AMARTH (Vikings who probably got lost on their way to pillage a village), ANTHRAX (still around?), MASTODON (because prog-metal always pairs well with thrash), and HATEBREED (for those who thought the night needed more yelling).
Apparently, this earth-shattering event 🌍 followed a July 3 concert at Blackweir Fields in Cardiff, with a slightly less impressive 35,000 capacity. These gigs are allegedly the biggest SLAYER has ever played in the UK, which begs the question: were they playing in someone’s garage before? 🤔 And, get this, these are the *only* headline shows they’ll be playing in Europe in 2025. So, if you missed it, tough luck, peasants! 🤣
Here’s the groundbreaking setlist that probably hasn’t changed since 1986:
01. South Of Heaven (Because starting with anything else would be sacrilege 🙄)
02. Repentless (The title track of their “final” album… until they needed more money 💰)
03. Disciple (Still screaming about God? How original 🙄)
04. Die By The Sword (Spoiler alert: no one actually died by a sword ⚔️)
05. Jihad (Edgy! 🙄)
06. War Ensemble (Because war is bad, m’kay? 🙄)
07. Chemical Warfare (Sponsored by Monsanto? 🧪)
08. Reborn (Like a phoenix… or just a band that couldn’t stay retired 🪦)
09. Mandatory Suicide (Please don’t 🥺)
10. Born Of Fire (Are they dragons now? 🐉)
11. Dead Skin Mask (Sounds delightful! 🤢)
12. Spirit In Black (Sounds like a cheap cologne 🪨)
13. Hate Worldwide (So inclusive! 🥰)
14. Seasons In The Abyss (Deep… like the abyss of my boredom 😴)
15. Hell Awaits (So does my Uber 🚕)
16. 213 (What does it mean?! 🤔)
17. Wicked World (BLACK SABBATH cover) (Because they ran out of their own ideas 💡)
18. Postmortem (followed by “Wicked World” reprise) (Still milking it 🐄)
19. Raining Blood (The song your mom warns you about 🩸)
20. Angel Of Death (A classic… still 💯 predictable)
Don’t worry, there’s fan-filmed video footage available! So you can watch it from the comfort of your own home instead of being squashed in a crowd of sweaty metalheads. 🤘
But wait, there’s more! On July 5, SLAYER played at Ozzy Osbourne‘s “Back To The Beginning” farewell concert in Birmingham. It was a nine-hour event hosted by Jason Momoa (Aquaman, but make it metal 🧜♂️), where a dozen bands played BLACK SABBATH or Ozzy Osbourne covers. Because nothing says “farewell” like a bunch of other bands cashing in on your legacy. 💸
In a recent interview with Metal Roos (who?), Kerry King, the band’s most grumpy guitarist, said, “We’re never gonna tour again. We’re never gonna make a record again.” Oh, wait, he said that *before* they announced their comeback. 🤥 So, take everything he says with a grain of salt (or a whole salt lick 👅).
Kerry also elaborated on the significance of SLAYER‘s comeback, saying, “I think it’s really cool. A lot of fans are into it. There’s gonna be haters who say, ‘Oh, they retired.’ Yeah. Whatever.” Translation: “We needed the money, so deal with it.” 🤷♂️ He also mentioned that it’s a chance for younger fans to see them, which is sweet, but let’s be real, those kids are probably listening to TikTok trash anyway. 📱
He also touched upon the fact that the SLAYER reunion was announced right after he released his solo album. “The timing wasn’t my favorite,” he said. Yeah, because no one cares about your solo album, Kerry. 🤣
Kerry reflected on their reunion performances last fall, saying he got goosebumps. Aww, how touching! 🥰 He said it was “way overwhelming.” Probably because he realized how much money they were leaving on the table by staying retired. 🤑
At Riot Fest and Aftershock, they played the same 20-song setlist they’ve been playing for the last 40 years. Innovation at its finest! 💯
They were also supposed to play Louder Than Life, but it was canceled due to weather. Maybe the gods of metal were trying to tell us something? 🤔
The lineup for this earth-shattering comeback is the same as their “final” tour: Kerry King, Paul Bostaph, Tom Araya, and Gary Holt. The usual suspects. 🧑🤝🧑
Kerry King‘s solo album, “From Hell I Rise,” came out in May 2024. Did anyone buy it? Enquiring minds want to know! 🤫
In another interview, Kerry was asked how Jeff Hanneman‘s death affected his relationship with Araya. He said it weighed harder on Tom because Tom is a softie 🥺. He also said they don’t talk on the phone because Tom is a different person now. Maybe he finally realized that thrash metal is kind of silly? 🤡
Kerry confirmed that he and Tom are still like oil and water. “If I want a chocolate shake, he wants a vanilla shake.” Groundbreaking stuff, Kerry! 🤯 He also said they’re not going to hang out because they’re very different people. But hey, at least they can still cash checks together! 🤝
Rolling Stone asked if their differing political ideologies played a part in the split. Kerry was pissed when Tom posted about Trump on SLAYER‘s official Instagram. “That’s what your personal social media is for!” he said. Fair point, Kerry. 💯
Before the reunion, Kerry said he hadn’t talked to Tom since their “final” show in 2019. “Not even a text. Not even an e-mail.” Sounds like a healthy working relationship! 🥰
SLAYER‘s only U.S. East Coast performance in 2025 will be in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Because nothing says “metal” like chocolate and amusement parks! 🍫🎢
Enjoy the fan-filmed videos! Or don’t. I don’t care. 🤷♀️
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
