Okay, so like, apparently some people are still obsessed with Stranger Things? 🙄 Get ready, kiddos, because the final season is dropping soon, and we have a “teaser trailer” that’s about as exciting as watching paint dry. The Duffer Brothers (whoever they are) are back to milk this cash cow for all it’s worth on Netflix. Prepare for more recycled 80s nostalgia and plot holes bigger than the Upside Down itself!
The trailer dropped on Wednesday (because Tuesdays are *so* last season), and it promises… wait for it… more of the same! Mysterious stuff happening, action that probably looks cool but makes zero sense, and enough emotional moments to make you roll your eyes into next week. Hawkins is being invaded, because why not? 🤷♀️
OMG! The teens are hiding in a radio station? How original! Kids cowering in a bunker? Groundbreaking! Will’s neck hairs standing up? Riveting! Hopper throwing grenades? Explosions! 🎉 Slimy Demodogs chasing our “heroes?” Yawn. And of course, copious amounts of tears and hugs because these characters have the emotional range of a teaspoon. They’re gearing up for their final showdown with Vecna, who shows up at the end to remind us he’s still a thing. 😴
Here’s the trailer, if you’re into that sort of thing:
They also released a poster with the tagline “One Last Adventure.” Because apparently, they couldn’t come up with anything more creative. It’s been nine years since the show premiered. NINE YEARS. Time to move on, people! 🕰️
The new season will pick up after Season 4, which, let’s be honest, no one remembers because it was a convoluted mess. Remember when it was split into two parts? Genius move to keep us paying for Netflix, tbh. 💰
Here’s the official synopsis, which sounds like it was written by an AI bot:
“The fall of 1987. Hawkins is scarred blah blah blah Vecna is missing blah blah blah government quarantine blah blah blah Eleven is hiding blah blah blah Will’s disappearance blah blah blah final battle blah blah blah darkness blah blah blah everyone together blah blah blah one last time.”
In other words, expect more of the same nonsensical plot points and contrived character drama. 🙄
Eleven and her friends (do they even have names?) fought Vecna in Season 4. He opened a portal. There’s an Upside Down. Got it? Good. 🙄
Stranger Things Season 5 wrapped production in December 2024. It will be released in THREE parts. Because why not stretch this out as much as humanly possible? The first episodes drop on November 26, followed by more on Christmas, and the grand finale on New Year’s Eve. What a way to ruin the holidays! 🎄🎉
Episodes will be available at 5PM PT/8PM ET. Mark your calendars, if you care. 🗓️
Stranger Things premiered on July 15, 2016. And the world hasn’t been the same since… said no one ever. 😂
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
